Our entire relationship is about you. My dying is about me!

Wilson: Just dinner?
House: That depends on how much you have to drink.

Wilson: Does it ever stop being surreal?
Thirteen: It'll stop. In about 5 or 6 months, give or take, in your case.

I'm sorry. I wasn't familiar with hooker protocol.

House: It's an 80 oz. steak.
Wilson: I'm hungry.

Wilson: Tomorrow I'm leaving work behind to chase my boyhood crush.
House: The years have not been kind to David Cassidy.

I've taken a meaningful vow to lead a less meaningful life.

My watch must have stopped. Must be a quarter to never.

Wilson: You are a horrible person.
House: All I need is to break up one marriage. You broke up three of your own. You're like the Stephen Hawking of killing relationships.

Wilson: Oh, sand art! I used to love this stuff!
House: He's bitter, not mentally handicapped.

This is one of the symptoms of working for House. You start seeing zebras everywhere.

Foreman: We have a problem.
Wilson: Does it limp?

House Quotes

Dr. Cameron: House doesn't believe in pretense. Figures life's too short and too painful. So he just says that he thinks.
Dr. Foreman: "I say what I think" is just another way of saying "I'm an assho"...

(about House) The son of a bitch is the best doctor we have.

Dr. Cuddy