Our entire relationship is about you. My dying is about me!

Wilson: Just dinner?
House: That depends on how much you have to drink.

Wilson: Does it ever stop being surreal?
Thirteen: It'll stop. In about 5 or 6 months, give or take, in your case.

I'm sorry. I wasn't familiar with hooker protocol.

House: It's an 80 oz. steak.
Wilson: I'm hungry.

Wilson: Tomorrow I'm leaving work behind to chase my boyhood crush.
House: The years have not been kind to David Cassidy.

I've taken a meaningful vow to lead a less meaningful life.

My watch must have stopped. Must be a quarter to never.

Wilson: You are a horrible person.
House: All I need is to break up one marriage. You broke up three of your own. You're like the Stephen Hawking of killing relationships.

Wilson: Oh, sand art! I used to love this stuff!
House: He's bitter, not mentally handicapped.

This is one of the symptoms of working for House. You start seeing zebras everywhere.

Foreman: We have a problem.
Wilson: Does it limp?

House Quotes

You know another really good business? Teeny tiny baby coffins. You can get them in frog green or fire engine red. Really. The antibodies in yummy mummy only protect the kid for six months, which is why these companies think they can gouge you. They think that you'll spend whatever they ask to keep your kid alive. Want to change things? Prove them wrong. A few hundred parents like you decide they'd rather let their kid die than cough up forty bucks for a vaccination, believe me, prices will drop really fast.

House

You're an ass!

Dr. Adams