Hermes: Jumpin' is for suckers. Oh ho, I'm good. Who wants a piece of me?
Zoidberg: I'll try a bite!

Amy: Finally, a uniform I'd be happy to be caught dead in!
Zoidberg: And boy does it wick away moisture! Gallons and gallons of it!

Ladies love a decapod with clothes made of cash!

Uh, God, it's Zoidberg. I hate to bother you, but [large bag of money lands in front of him] - alright, alright, I'll shut up!

Zoidberg: Ah yes, better. A lonely weekend in my dumpster with a jar of pennies and tears.
Amy: Sounds good. See you Monday!

Amy: Um, Zoidberg, maybe Vegas isn't the best place for people like you.
Zoidberg: What? It's full of fat guys in sandals.

Look out, penny slots, I've got a system! It's to put all my money in you! Hahahahaha!

Zoidberg: I'm Dr. Zoidberg I'm very important.
Leela: Hey Zoidberg you forgot to empty this trash can!

Bender: Life is about decisions. Make the wrong ones and you'll wind up face down in a pool of your own blood and urine.
Zoidberg: Still, to have your own pool!

Zoidberg: Welcome back old friend, I missed you terribly!
Hermes: You do everything terribly! And I'm not your friend!
Zoidberg: Hahahaha! Good old Hermes! When he stops insulting, that's when I worry!

Zoidberg: You don't understand, he was the only one who cared enough to insult me! I'll never see Hermes again!
Hermes: On the bright side, I'll never see Zoidberg again.

Hermes: People, as company bureaucrat, I will today be performing the annual performance review - with a twist!
Fry: Oh no, the firing tie!
Hermes: Correct. I will be evaluating each of you, and the lowest-rated employee - possibly Zoidberg - will be fired at sundown. Zoidberg.
Zoidberg: Hohohohoho. Classic Hermes.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 151 in total

Futurama Quotes

Farnsworth: (on the phone) Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? To shreds, you say. Very well then. (hangs up) Sad, sad, terrible, gruesome news about my colleague, Dr. Mobutu.
Leela: Was his apartment rent-controlled?

Amy: Don't worry, Mom! You can always come live with me!
Inez Wong: No we can't! Who you think been paying your rent?
Amy: What's rent?

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