Nate: What are your plans for the summer, Mrs. Humphrey?
Lily: Well I'm going to be getting very pale. This thing doesn't come off until the fall. Just in time to send my baby off to college.
Eric: Sarah Lawrence is like 15 minutes. I don't really think I need to be sent off. A light breeze could take me there.

Iz: Look who got cute.
Eric: Still gay.

Okay, woah. Just tell me that no one's trying to stop a wedding, run a Ponzi scheme, give anybody fake cancer or turn into a justifiably vengeful townie.

Charlie: Okay, caviar and paté should be out soon. I just need to check one thing with the sommelier.
Eric: Ah, there's a sommelier! Okay, your Fonzi jacket was a better idea than this.

Dan: I take it lunch with the label went well.
Rufus: Yeah. They want me to have Panic—the name of band, also what's gripping my insides—over for dinner tomorrow.
Eric: And you want to be the cool rocker guy.
Rufus: Come on, I was the cool rocker guy.
Eric: Yeah, but now the penthouse, the art, the millionairess wife under house arrest doesn't exactly scream street cred.

Eric: Come on. Acting like Blair never works for anybody except Blair. And besides, Blair has so many skeletons I highly doubt Louis' mother is going to find her an acceptable princess-in-training.
Serena: Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I have to go.
Eric: She says sneakily. Oh. Looks like B's in for some hair gum of her own.

Eric: Hey! Where are they going with those scones?
Rufus: My guess is Blaine Trump's. I think your mother may have underestimated the impact of her sentence on her social standing.

Serena: Hey Mom. We're back from our tour of the best pastry shops in Manhattan.
Charlie: I did a Linzer tart taste test.
Eric: I had three espressos and then I picked a fight with a barista.

The only thing thicker than blood is the ink on Page Six.

Displaying quotes 1 - 9 of 69 in total