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Nate: What are your plans for the summer, Mrs. Humphrey?
Lily: Well I'm going to be getting very pale. This thing doesn't come off until the fall. Just in time to send my baby off to college.
Eric: Sarah Lawrence is like 15 minutes. I don't really think I need to be sent off. A light breeze could take me there.

Iz: Look who got cute.
Eric: Still gay.

Okay, woah. Just tell me that no one's trying to stop a wedding, run a Ponzi scheme, give anybody fake cancer or turn into a justifiably vengeful townie.

Charlie: Okay, caviar and paté should be out soon. I just need to check one thing with the sommelier.
Eric: Ah, there's a sommelier! Okay, your Fonzi jacket was a better idea than this.

Dan: I take it lunch with the label went well.
Rufus: Yeah. They want me to have Panic—the name of band, also what's gripping my insides—over for dinner tomorrow.
Eric: And you want to be the cool rocker guy.
Rufus: Come on, I was the cool rocker guy.
Eric: Yeah, but now the penthouse, the art, the millionairess wife under house arrest doesn't exactly scream street cred.

Eric: Come on. Acting like Blair never works for anybody except Blair. And besides, Blair has so many skeletons I highly doubt Louis' mother is going to find her an acceptable princess-in-training.
Serena: Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I have to go.
Eric: She says sneakily. Oh. Looks like B's in for some hair gum of her own.

Eric: Hey! Where are they going with those scones?
Rufus: My guess is Blaine Trump's. I think your mother may have underestimated the impact of her sentence on her social standing.

Serena: Hey Mom. We're back from our tour of the best pastry shops in Manhattan.
Charlie: I did a Linzer tart taste test.
Eric: I had three espressos and then I picked a fight with a barista.

The only thing thicker than blood is the ink on Page Six.

Eric: Wait, no. The point was to do this for my mom.
Rufus: I think the point for Will is to always do something for himself.

Dan: So get this, I got a call that I'm being included in the modern royalty book.
Eric: Hm. No offense, but why?
Dan: Oh, none taken. 'Cause that was my first thought also. I guess there's some coup d'etat section for up-and-comers.
Eric: Oh yeah, that sounds totally made up.

Dan: I mean, it was just once. And it was weird.
Eric: Oh I would expect so. Yes.
Dan: But weird, good? Like "Wow, that's weird this is such a god kiss." Or weird bad, like, you know, just "Wow. Weird."
Eric: I would... She didn't give you any indication at the time?
Dan: No. No. She just walked away—stunned, left me standing there in the foyer.
Eric: Mysterious.
Dan: I know, right? I mean, I did what I thought was the polite thing. Called her the next day, It's been almost a week and I haven't heard back.
Eric: Wait. Wait, why do you care so much? Do you...do you like her?
Dan: What? No no no. I don't like her. No, of course not. Not at all. I'm just curious. And you, I mean, she does... she does smell nice.
Eric: Oh, you are ass backwards crushing on Blair Waldorf!

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Gossip Girl Quotes

And who am I? That's one secret I'll never tell ... You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Girl

Gossip Girl

Pathetic! Suburban moralists in mom jeans. I'd pity them if I wasn't worried they'd spill orange soda on my Christian Louboutins.

Blair