Eric van der Woodsen Quotes
Nate: What are your plans for the summer, Mrs. Humphrey?
Lily: Well I'm going to be getting very pale. This thing doesn't come off until the fall. Just in time to send my baby off to college.
Eric: Sarah Lawrence is like 15 minutes. I don't really think I need to be sent off. A light breeze could take me there.
Iz: Look who got cute.
Eric: Still gay.
Okay, woah. Just tell me that no one's trying to stop a wedding, run a Ponzi scheme, give anybody fake cancer or turn into a justifiably vengeful townie.
Charlie: Okay, caviar and paté should be out soon. I just need to check one thing with the sommelier.
Eric: Ah, there's a sommelier! Okay, your Fonzi jacket was a better idea than this.
Dan: I take it lunch with the label went well.
Rufus: Yeah. They want me to have Panic—the name of band, also what's gripping my insides—over for dinner tomorrow.
Eric: And you want to be the cool rocker guy.
Rufus: Come on, I was the cool rocker guy.
Eric: Yeah, but now the penthouse, the art, the millionairess wife under house arrest doesn't exactly scream street cred.
Eric: Come on. Acting like Blair never works for anybody except Blair. And besides, Blair has so many skeletons I highly doubt Louis' mother is going to find her an acceptable princess-in-training.
Serena: Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I have to go.
Eric: She says sneakily. Oh. Looks like B's in for some hair gum of her own.
Eric: Hey! Where are they going with those scones?
Rufus: My guess is Blaine Trump's. I think your mother may have underestimated the impact of her sentence on her social standing.
Serena: Hey Mom. We're back from our tour of the best pastry shops in Manhattan.
Charlie: I did a Linzer tart taste test.
Eric: I had three espressos and then I picked a fight with a barista.
The only thing thicker than blood is the ink on Page Six.
Eric: Wait, no. The point was to do this for my mom.
Rufus: I think the point for Will is to always do something for himself.
Dan: So get this, I got a call that I'm being included in the modern royalty book.
Eric: Hm. No offense, but why?
Dan: Oh, none taken. 'Cause that was my first thought also. I guess there's some coup d'etat section for up-and-comers.
Eric: Oh yeah, that sounds totally made up.
Dan: I mean, it was just once. And it was weird.
Eric: Oh I would expect so. Yes.
Dan: But weird, good? Like "Wow, that's weird this is such a god kiss." Or weird bad, like, you know, just "Wow. Weird."
Eric: I would... She didn't give you any indication at the time?
Dan: No. No. She just walked away—stunned, left me standing there in the foyer.
Eric: Mysterious.
Dan: I know, right? I mean, I did what I thought was the polite thing. Called her the next day, It's been almost a week and I haven't heard back.
Eric: Wait. Wait, why do you care so much? Do you...do you like her?
Dan: What? No no no. I don't like her. No, of course not. Not at all. I'm just curious. And you, I mean, she does... she does smell nice.
Eric: Oh, you are ass backwards crushing on Blair Waldorf!
