It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXFrank Reynolds Quotes
Frank: You're not ready for this fight, you're not...
Dee: Oh, I have an idea, dad! Why don't you shut your fat little monkey face, and hold the bag?!
Brianna: You look like a Holocaust victim in pageant makeup.
Sweet Dee: I will eat your babies, bitch!
Frank: Nobody's eating anybody's babies.
Sweet Dee: Come on, let me eat her babies.
Frank: Charlie, you've got a lot of balls, stealing my money. This shows leadership, I am promoting you to management.
Charlie: That's why I did it.
Mac: That's why I did it too, Frank! I stole lots of your money, what do I get?
Frank: You get dick, because you are a follower and a thief.
Sweet Dee: How come Charlie...? It's not fair...
Dennis: Why would you do this to us, dad?
Frank: Because you're crackheads, children.
Charlie: A grilled Charlie has peanut butter last!
Frank: Okay, you're either inside or outside?
Charlie: Peanut butter outside, chocolate inside. Butter inside, cheese outside.
Barbara: You were talking about giving away all of our money.
Frank: My money. I made it, you spent it.
Charlie: Burn! There you go buddy.
Frank: Well, I didn't take anything.
Barbara: It's empty. Someone came in and took everything.
Frank: Maybe you should have somebody deported, like you used to, in the old days.
Charlie: Beautiful.
Barbara: While you were out making money, who do you think was at home, cooking and cleaning and raising your children?
Frank: A series of Mexican women.
Charlie: "A series..." Unbelievable, dude! [They high-five] You're on fire.
Ari Frankel: Your wife says she's afraid of you. I'm here for the dog.
Frank: Oh. That woman is amazing! She is amazing! You just met her; she's already got you running errands for her. She's good. She is good!
Ari Frankel: Just go get the dog.
Frank: I don't have the dog.
Ari Frankel: So you've been in here tearing apart pillows and... pooping... on the floor?
Frank: ....Yes.
Frank: Well, I figured, you know, cut out the middleman. This way, everybody wins.
Charlie: I don't win.
Dennis, your mother is a dirty, dirty whore.
Charlie [in a wheelchair and army vet attire]: This costume, the chicks is gonna go crazy all over it.
Frank: Maybe you should let me do all the talking.
Charlie: No, it's like shooting fish in a barrel. So watch and learn.
Stripper: Awww, look at you sweetie, what happened?
Charlie: Viet-goddamn-nam, that's what happened! Go get me a beer, bitch!
Dennis: It's because of those bison fingers.
Dee: I do not have bison fingers!
Frank: Yeah you do. Your mother had to have a c-section because of those hands.
