I've made love with treason charges over me before.

George Bluth Sr.

Oscar: Yesterday I was talking to a lizard and it turned into Elizabeth Taylor.
George Sr.: Young Elizabeth Taylor?

[to a limp Oscar] If I could give you just one note? A little energy.

I'd give $10,000 for a glass of lemonade right now.

George Sr.: I always talk about being a great man. Maybe the way to do that isn't by being the biggest businessman in Southern California. It's by...
Oscar: It's by being the best brother in Southern California.

Sitwell: This isn't what it looks like!
George Sr.: Oh really? Cause it looks like a monument to George W. Bush.
Sitwell: Well you got me.

Michael: Where is Gob?
George Sr.: Oh, who knows? I don't even know where he lives.
Buster: He doesn't live at Michael's?
Tobias: I've always pictured him in a lighthouse.

(Lucille's necklace has just stuck to the magnet)
Lucille: That's not a real gold necklace, is it?
George, Sr.: Well, it wasn't really your 50th birthday.

George Sr.: Who's on the list? Any blabbers?
Michael: Well, they've got one guy who won't be talking. That is unless there's a hand inside of him.
Tobias: Oh, please, Michael. Even then, I wouldn't say anything.

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