These are dangerous people, Michael. They will do whatever it takes to get inside this family and bring us down....Oh, they're polite and the men all sound gay, but they will rip out your heart. And their breath...

George Sr.: You've got to get me out of here.
Michael: You're the one that said no to prison.
George Sr.: I was wrong. There, you just have to shut your eyes and take it. Here, you have to shut your eyes and give it.

Michael: We've got a picture of you with Saddam Hussein.
George Sr.: I thought that was the guy who played the Soup Nazi. I told him how much I liked his work!

George: Are you ready for the bombshell?
Michael: Andy Griffith wasn't the bombshell?
George: I'm a patsy. I was set up by the Brits. A group of British builders operating outside the O.C.
Michael: Don't call it that.

Franklin (Gob): I don't wanna kiss that old bitch!
George Sr.: That's my wife, you bastard! (chokes puppet)
Gob: Ow, Dad, that's my wrist ...
(George Sr. chokes Gob)
Franklin (Gob): Hey, man, that's his neck!

Gob: Somebody just wanted to say ... (holds up Franklin) how much they missed you.
Lucille: Oh, who let that black (bleep) in? (Gob knocks her unconcious)
Buster: Hey, brother!
Franklin (Gob): Who you callin' "brother," you hook-ass --
Buster: Mother ...!
(Buster blows the rape horn and Gob knocks him out)
Geroge Sr.: What the hell kind of puppet is that on Buster's hand?

George Sr.: (listening in attic) She wants her man back.
Geroge Sr. as Franklin: Yo man, you're gonna get your sorry white ass thrown in jail.
George Sr.: I said that's enough!

Gob: So what, you're gonna cover her eyes, take her out to the limo...?
George Sr.: No, we're going to knock her out with this ether, stuff her in this garment bag and carry her out to the car, if anyone see's you do the same. Oh, hi Tobias.
Mrs. Featherbottom: (singing) Whenever I get a wee bit scared I hum a little tune, humdidididi...doo.

(to the dolls) Now, who wants to take their top off?

George, Sr.
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