George Sr.: (listening in attic) She wants her man back.
Geroge Sr. as Franklin: Yo man, you're gonna get your sorry white ass thrown in jail.
George Sr.: I said that's enough!

Gob: Somebody just wanted to say ... (holds up Franklin) how much they missed you.
Lucille: Oh, who let that black (bleep) in? (Gob knocks her unconcious)
Buster: Hey, brother!
Franklin (Gob): Who you callin' "brother," you hook-ass --
Buster: Mother ...!
(Buster blows the rape horn and Gob knocks him out)
Geroge Sr.: What the hell kind of puppet is that on Buster's hand?

Tobias: What are you doing up here?
George, Sr.: I'm having a f**king tea party, what does it look like I'm doing?
(He shoves Tobias up against the wall with his hand against his mouth)
George, Sr.: I'm living up here and if you tell anyone about this, I will f**king kill you. Ah, stop licking my hand, you horse's ass.

(to the dolls) Now, who wants to take their top off?

George, Sr.

Michael: I think it's getting too risky keeping you up here.
George, Sr.: You know what's risky? Letting your son go on that church thing.
Michael: Her name is Ann, Dad, and he's not "going" on her, ok? They're just friends.
George, Sr.: Not for long. They're making promises to each other. It's all that fidelity and pledging yourself to a woman garbage. I wine 'em and dine 'em, but I don't let them tell me what to do. (speaking to his dolls, arranged for a tea party) I don't let them tell me what to do.
Michael: Ok, I should've never taken the pumps out of here.

If you play me, you got to play me like a man and not like some mincing little Polly or Nellie! I get those names confused. Apology. (to dolls) Apologies all around.

George, Sr.

Car Salesman: Yeah, the Bronco's been discontinued. We're trying to shed that whole fugitive-on-the-run thing. This is the Escape.
George Sr.: What a fun name. May I test drive?

(George Sr. & Lucille are in different cars. They almost crash).
George Sr.: Up yours, granny!
Lucille: You couldn't handle it!

George Sr.: You're pimping out your sister?
Michael: Well you were pimping out my mother!

George Sr.: My back is in knots. I haven't had a massage since prison.
Michael: Hope that was forced ...

I'm going crazy with the boredom, Michael. At least in prison, we had knife fights and we had movie night and once, both. Those men did not enjoy Soapdish.

Michael: I'm driving a staircase, for God's sake, okay? It smells like gas, I get hop-ons ...
George Sr.: Well, of course, you're gonna get hop-ons.
Michael: And most importantly, Dad, my son does not like to be seen in it.
George Sr.: (laughing) But he likes being seen with that girl!

Arrested Development Quotes

I don't want no part of yo' tired ass country club, ya freak bitch!

Franklin (Buster)

George Michael: Is that a screenplay? Warden Gentles' screenplay?
Maeby: That's what you're going to tell me.