Nurse Jackie

Saturdays 9:00 PM on Showtime
Nurse jackie
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Zoey: So I can totally text you highlights from the trenches every day. Sometimes even pictures.
Gloria: Does my phone get pictures?

It's not like it used to be. Everything I loved about being a nurse is gone.

Gloria: We're having a baby! How's Disneyland?
Jackie: Disneyland sucks.

Akalitus: I know Michelle Obama.
Father: Excuse Me?
Akalitus: You heard me.

Jackie: I don't care what they say. You are not a Grinchy little fucker.
Akalitus: Who's they?
Jackie: That would be me.

Akalitus: No lunch for Thor today. He has to drop all that weight.
Thor: I can hear you.
Akalitus: Still gotta lose all that weight!

Akalitus: Someone may be dying
Coop: The nurses will keep him alive until I get there. That's their job.

Akalitus: Welcome back to All Saints.
Eddie: I'm gonna rock this shit.
Akalitus: I wish you wouldn't.

Akalitus: Zoey Barkow, you want the shift?
Zoey: I'm so flattered.
Akalitus: Don't be here. You just got here first.
Zoey: I'm still flattered.

I'm assessing your performances. And I'm not doing it in private.

Akalitus: You know, Dr. O'Hara is from Britain.
O'Hara: Yes, I'm from the whole of Britain.

Coop: The whole good looking thing? More of a curse than a blessing.
Akalitus: I can't even imagine.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 14 in total

Nurse Jackie Quotes

Don't ever say "ta-da." The only people that say "ta-da" are magicians or idiots.

Jackie Peyton

Percoset should never be crushed and chewed, unless you want it to hit your system like a bolt of lightening. Which is only a problem if you're afraid of lightening.

Jackie Peyton