Michael: What the hell is going on? Nellie is not a, uh, uh, a prostitute.
Gob: Of course, she is. Oh, but I can see where the misunderstanding is. You didn't know. (yelling to Nellie in the background) Maybe we can give him a family discount!
Michael: Family discount is right, Gob. This is the sister I've been talking about.
Gob: Maybe I should have been getting a family rate ... (breaking down) Oh, my God.

Michael: Gob, listen. Can I ask you a question? Do you remember growing up with a sister?
Gob: Sister? Uh ... No, I don't. Not really ... ringing any bells.
Michael: Other than Lindsay, of course.
Gob: Oh! Lindsay!
Michael: Well, you might not be the most reputable source on this.

Michael: You know, Gob, this might be that sign from God that you should change your ways.
Gob: No, I think that's going to be something big.

(as Franklin) Like to see a whore that does that! (as himself) Not the carrying the weight part, but ... on the other hand, if it's free.

Franklin: My name is Judge.
Gob: Whose name is Judge?
Franklin: My name is.
Michael: Okay.
Gob: That's a silly name.
Michael: That's enough.
Franklin: Judge, my name.
Gob: Yes, I am judging your name. It am silly.
Franklin: Is.
Michael: Please stop.
Gob: Oh, now, you're correcting my grammar.

Michael: Gob, I'm not going to turn this mock trial into some kind of --
Gob: You were going to say "mockery," weren't you?
Michael: I was in trouble, like, three words into that.

Michael: Hey. What's this?
Gob: Just practicing my testimony. Needed a fake witness box.
Michael: And you couldn't have just taken my stuff off the desk first, or unplugged my computer?
Gob: Justice is swift, Michael.

Lindsay: They teach self-expression and getting in touch with feelings, Michael. I mean, I know you don't have any.
Gob: The boy who couldn't cry.
Buster: He's a robot! (Buster's prosthetic hand falls off)
Lindsay: Michael can cry. He just doesn't want to rust.
Tobias: Yes, he's like the steel man from The Wizard From Oz.

Michael: Gob, pal, how about you? Can you find some work?
Gob: Oh, sure, Michael. As what, a waiter? Can I get you something, madam?
Lucille: I will have a vodka, though.
(Lucille and Gob laugh)
Gob: What? Oh.
Michael: You know, if you'd ever accidentally worked a day in your life, you'd know that there's no indignity in it.
Gob: Great. She'll have a vodka.

Gob: If you didn't have adult onset diabetes, I wouldn't mind giving you a little sugar.
Mrs. Van Skoyk: Oh, Gob ... you could charm the black off a telegram boy.
Narrator: Ok, we should tell you right now. She is the one who dies!

Michael: You just thought you'd put the stand right here?
Gob: Did the research. Did you know that more frozen bananas are sold here on this boardwalk than anywhere in The O.C.?
Michael: Don't call it that.

It's okay, son. We'll figure it out. When we do, we'll have the last laugh. We'll be the laughing stock of the boardwalk.

Arrested Development Quotes

Gob: Take off your glasses. Oh ... Wait, wait. Let down your hair. No, glasses on, hair back up. Let's just get that hair right back up.
Kitty: Let me turn the lights off.
Gob: Yes, yes, please.
Kitty: How's that? Is that better?
Gob: It just seems like there's still light coming in from under the door.

Soon, George Michael went to Ann's to try to win her back. But her Uncle Paul told him that Ann had moved in with her boyfriend. He also mentioned that we all only had 3 more weeks on earth and that fossils were just something the Jews buried in 1924.

Narrator