The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSFavorite Howard Wolowitz Quotes
Wolowitz: Okay, you two have to back off.
Raj: Why should I back off? You back off, dude.
Leonard: Excuse me, this is my apartment, and she's my roommate's sister.
Howard: So what? You've already got Penny.
Leonard: How do I have Penny? In what universe do I have Penny?
Wolowitz: So, I can have Penny?
Leonard: Hell, no!
Wolowitz: I took a scuba diving course over the summer, but it turns out I'm terrified of the ocean.
Bernadette: That's too bad.
Wolowitz: You wouldn't know anybody who wants to buy a wet suit? Boy's large?
Raj: Whoa! What's your hurry, cowboy? Savor the moment.
[Raj and Howard slowly remove the plastic off Raj's new iPhone 4s]
Howard: Oh, yeah.
Sheldon: Why does Leonard get to go?
Wolowitz: Because he's upset over his situation with Penny, and if I have to hear about it again, I'm gonna kick him in his ovaries
Penny [to Leonard]: Look, you are a great guy, and it is the things you love that make you who you are.
Wolowitz: I guess that makes me large breasts
Bernadette: I was head-hunted by a big pharmaceutical company. They're going to pay me a buttload of money!!
Leonard: Bernadette, that's great!! Howard, do YOU make a buttload?
Howard: Better than what YOU got a buttload of!
Leonard: See, this is the good thing about having a girlfriend 9,000 miles away I can spend my nights doing whatever I want.
Howard: You mean playing nerd games with us and then taking a suspiciously long shower?
Leonard: Maybe.
Leonard: It should go back to Peter Jackson. He made the movies; it belongs to him.
Wolowitz: Fine, he can have it back -- as long as he promises to make me a hobbit in his next movie.
Raj: There are no Jewish hobbits.
Wolowitz: Clearly, you've never been to my house for dinner on Rosh Hashana.
Leonard: The elevator's been broken for two years.
Sheldon: I've been meaning to ask you. Do you think we should make a call about that?
Wolowitz: Not necessary. I have a Masters in Engineering. I remotely repair satellites in a regular basis. I troubleshoot space shuttle payloads. When the Mars Rover started pulling to the left I performed a front-end alignment from 62 million miles away. [pushes the button...] No, that baby's broken
[Chuckles] Look at that. There's finally a women in your life you can talk to
That crazy bastard is looking at quirky in the rear view mirror.
Penny: God, he's an ass when he drinks.
Wolowitz: He's an ass he doesn't. You just don't hear it.
