I don't like to kiss and tell, but somebody made it to eighth base!

Leonard: Still arguing which is the best CSI?
Howard: We agreed they all have their merits.

Raj: This old pen kind of proves gravity. When I tilt it, her bathing suit falls right off.
Howard: Oh, my dad used to have a pen like that. I dated it all through sixth grade.

Leonard: Hold on. So, your idea is to get a van and cruise the streets looking for kids to pick up?
Guys: Yes.
Leonard: And are you gonna use candy to lure them in?
Raj: We are now!

Leonard: Oh. Watch out, Sheldon. This little boy Casper is a g-g-g-ghost!
Sheldon: Droll.
Howard: Not as droll as a grown man passed out in a puddle of his own urine.
Leonard: That was pretty droll. With a hint of ammonia.

Wolowitz: Don't you think I should answer the engineering question? I am an engineer.
Sheldon: By that logic I should answer all the anthropology questions because I'm a mammal

Leonard: Oh, you do what you want, but I don't want to lose my friends over tenure. Friends are forever.
Howard [coughing]: So, is tenure.

Howard: Son of a bitch, she's gone.
Bernadette: Where'd she go?
Howard: I don't know. She didn't leave a note.
Bernadette: You were the one who was supposed to put her back in the stroller!
Howard: No, I wasn't! You were!
Bernadette: No, I wasn't!
Howard: Yes, you were!
Bernadette: Well, you throw like a girl.

I think it's like Beetlejuice. We said his name too many times.

Bernadette: So we just sit here and stare at a screen and wait for something to happen?
Wolowitz: I did it with you when we watched The Notebook.

Leonard: Maybe it's a shipping problem.
Howard: What?
Leonard: Maybe Wesley Snipes and Toucan Sam just got action figures that look like you guys.

Howard: Let me try gangsta: Hells naw.

TBBT Quotes

Amy, I excel at many things, but getting over you wasn't one of them.


(Singing) Thor and Dr Jones, Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightening, the other plays with bones.

Howard and Raj