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Howard: Attention people of Earth: Tonight, there will be two moons in the sky.

Death by chicken. That's a pretty fowl way to go.

Welcome to Team Putz.

Leonard: Come on, guys, push!
Howard: If I push any harder I'm gonna give birth to my colon.
Raj: I can't feel my fingers. Hurry up!
Sheldon: It's the same amount of work no matter how fast you go—basic physics.
Raj: Sheldon, if my fingers ever work again, I've got a job for the middle one

Bernadette: I'm not going to live with your mother. Not now. Not ever.
Howard: Somebody, obviously, has some mommy issues.

I lied about the Pepto -- I always use the little cup.

Nobody cares about your Kegel exercises.

Believe in magic, you Muggle!

Howard: Hey, I work at the same university you do.
Sheldon: Yes, and Hawkeye's in the Avengers but no one ever says, "Help, Hawkeye!"

Leonard: Does your family have a history of heart disease?
Wolowitz: My family is the history of heart disease. There's a cave painting in France of one of my ancestors doing this. [mimicks heart attack]

They gave him an assistant? If I want a new pen I have to go to the bank with wire cutters

Wolowitz [about Raj]

Raj: Boy, I'm so hungry today. I wonder why?
Howard: Because you had sex the other night?
Raj: You know what? That may be it. By the way, it isn't like riding a bike. Like, I fell off a few times.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 303 in total

TBBT Quotes

Howard: Attention people of Earth: Tonight, there will be two moons in the sky.

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.

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