I mean, even Donkey Kong had Donkey Kong, Jr., so he could teach someone how to kidnap princesses and throw barrels at Italian plumbers

Sheldon: Won't that void the warranty?
Howard: Sheldon, I have a masters degree in engineering. I wipe my bottom with warranties. Except for Apple Care. That pays for itself in the long run.

Wolowitz [about his mustache]: I call it the Clooney
Raj: I call it the Mario and Luigi, but whatever

Leonard: Will you take that stupid red hat off?
Wolowitz: No, I want to blend in
Raj: To what? Toy story?

Howard: Oh, come on-- she could have a freezer full of ex-boyfriend's body parts and you'd still go out with her.
Raj: I do like that the ex-boyfriend's out of the picture.

Wolowitz: There are two not-unattractive middle school teachers.
Raj: Wonderful. How old are they?
Wolowitz: Fifty, fifty-five.
Raj: Woh, menopause, nature's birth control.

Wolowitz: Why do you even want this here? Its size is completely disproportionate to its purpose!
Raj: Considering its purpose was to piss you off, I'd say it's spot on.

She is gonna break his heart.

Howard: Is that book called Lies I Tell to Get Sex?
Raj: Is that a real book? I would totally read that book.
Amy: Can I borrow it when you're done?

And, space beats water.

My wife came with both fun bags and money bags.

Check out the sexy nurse. I believe it's time for me to turn my head and cough

TBBT Quotes

Mrs. Cooper: Shelly! I'm so glad you're here!
Sheldon: I saw you having naked sex.

Penny: I give up, he's impossible
Sheldon: I can't be impossible, I exist. I believe what you meant to say is, "I give up, he's improbable."