Howard: Should we stop holding hands now?
Sheldon: In a minute.
Howard: Okay, good.

Sheldon: It's great you're here. I'd love to get an engineer's opinion.
Howard: Sure.
Sheldon: This chair is squeaky. Now, do I fix it or get a new one?

Leonard: Because you don't know how to do cryptanalysis, do you?
Howard: I'm not even sure if it's the right word.

But if she dumps you, she'll have a new boyfriend by tomorrow morning, and you'll have a new girlfriend when you figure out how to build one.

Raj: Too bad, I called dibs.
Wolowitz: You can't just call dibs.
Raj: I can, and I did. Look up "dibs" in Wikipedia.
Sheldon: Dibs does not apply in a bidding war

Bernadette: I think the woman can manage to put a wig on by herself.
Howard: It's not just the wig, it's pinning her hair up, it's putting on her eyebrows...it's a two person job.

Let's go smooch some rich, wrinkled toucas.

Sheldon, I swear to God I'm going to kill you.

Howard: It's ridiculous that we still have to walk up all these stairs.
Bernadette: Yeah, try doing it in heels.
Howard: I am.

I'm a horny engineer, Leonard. I never joke about math or sex

She hid my Xbox like I'm a child. And, my mom got me that for my birthday so if you don't give it back, I'm telling.

Thanks for ruining lobster for me.

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

Bernadette: I had a plan. I kept leaving Dove bar wrappers around to explain any weight gain.
Amy: Where did you get empty Dove bar wrappers?
Bernadette: From all the DOVE BARS I ATE. I'M PREGNANT. Try to keep up!