Sheldon: Won't that void the warranty?
Howard: Sheldon, I have a masters degree in engineering. I wipe my bottom with warranties. Except for Apple Care. That pays for itself in the long run.

Nobody cares about your Kegel exercises.

Howard: Oh I'm not hot enough for Angelina Jolie?
Raj: I'd like to weigh in here: No.

I lied about the Pepto -- I always use the little cup.

Leonard: Hold on. So, your idea is to get a van and cruise the streets looking for kids to pick up?
Guys: Yes.
Leonard: And are you gonna use candy to lure them in?
Raj: We are now!

Raj: So that's it. Everything's sold out?
Leonard: Yeah.
Howard: I can't believe we're not going.
Sheldon: It's okay. You know, there-there's always WonderCon in Annheim, you know? That-That's just as good. ... Excuse me. [Cries]

Put your tie back in your pants.

Sheldon: What are you doing?
Howard: If you're gonna be a crappy teacher, then I'm gonna be a crappy student.

Raj: You always do this, you know. You ditch me for a woman you have no shot with
Wolowitz: I totally had a shot
Raj: With a woman you were chasing through a park? That's not a shot, that's a felony

Howard: Let me try gangsta: Hells naw.

Bernadette: They throw an actual ball, you were throwing air at a tv.
Howard: For your information, I also threw Leonard a high five.

Her freakishly small hands make anything look big. That's one of the reasons I love her.

TBBT Quotes

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.

Sheldon: Nothing more fun than a paradigm shifting evening of science.
Penny: (to Leonard) And you thought it was soaping me up in the shower.