Her freakishly small hands make anything look big. That's one of the reasons I love her.

No. My mom died.

I'd take Sheldon to Switzerland, absolutely. And I'd leave him there.

Sheldon: What are you doing?
Howard: If you're gonna be a crappy teacher, then I'm gonna be a crappy student.

Raj: We now have the address of the Top Model house.
Howard: God bless you, Google Street View—registered trademark.
Leonard: Okay, for the record, what you guys are doing is really creepy.
Wolowitz: You know what? If it's creepy to use the Internet, military satellites, and robot aircraft to find a house full of gorgeous young models so that I can drop in on them unexpectedly, then fine, I'm creepy.

Sheldon: Now, where were we? Oh, yes. Does anyone have any wood?
Raj and Howard: [Both snickering]
Sheldon: Oh, come on. I just want wood. Why are you making it so hard?

Howard: You see, I have to play Dungeons and Dragons ... for the marriage.
Bernadette: You're an idiot.
Howard: I'm your idiot.

At least my mother made her boyfriend climb out the window.

There's the problem. You can't beat Hawking like that. He hates to lose. Everyone knows the guy's a big baby. I mean, forget the wheelchair, he should be in a stroller.

Howard: So, I got the craziest email this morning.
Raj: I hate to burst your bubble, dude, but those penile enlargement pills do not work.
Howard: Believe me I know.

Howard: Honestly, if I could bend that far what would I need with you.
Bernadette: If you could bend that far, you'd be doing both of us a favor.

Wolowitz: Don't you think I should answer the engineering question? I am an engineer.
Sheldon: By that logic I should answer all the anthropology questions because I'm a mammal

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a drink?" The bartender says, "For you? No charge."