Raj: Ahh, the premature I love you.
Wolowitz: : I guessed premature, does that count?

She is gonna break his heart.

Penny: Who's Adam West?
Sheldon: Who's Adam West!? Leonard, what do you talk about after the coitus?
Wolowitz: My guess is "four minutes, a new record!"

Wolowitz [after seeing Penny jump Leonard]: Damnit, I should have gone over and said we were back
Raj: Yeah, it was "first come, first serve."

Normally, around women he has the personality of a boiled potato. Put one beer in him, and he has the personality of M. Knight Charmalarmalon

Wolowitz [about Raj]

Believe in magic, you Muggle!

No. My mom died.

Put your tie back in your pants.

Nobody cares about your Kegel exercises.

She hid my Xbox like I'm a child. And, my mom got me that for my birthday so if you don't give it back, I'm telling.

Howard: Oh I'm not hot enough for Angelina Jolie?
Raj: I'd like to weigh in here: No.

I'm guessing 21 seconds had something to do with that, too.

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Leonard: Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz electric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will never forget.
Raj: Where are we going?