The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSPopular Howard Wolowitz Quotes
Bernadette: You know, you're always talking about having a baby someday. This is exactly what it's gonna be like.
Howard: No, it's not.
Bernadette: Come on. The constant fussing, eating, pooping, burping, drooling. We're even waiting for the day when she can finally walk on her own.
Howard: Maybe you're right. Anything she finds on the floor goes right in her mouth.
Bernadette: How come the three of you never got an apartment together?
Leonard: We talked about it, but Howard was in a pretty serious relationship with his mom.
Howard: I lived with her to save money.
Raj: You didn't have to buy groceries because you were breast feeding.
Welcome to Team Putz.
Raj: Boy, I'm so hungry today. I wonder why?
Howard: Because you had sex the other night?
Raj: You know what? That may be it. By the way, it isn't like riding a bike. Like, I fell off a few times.
Howard: Fake a laugh? Do you ever do that with me?
Bernadette: No, of course not.
Howard: Well, I'd be able to tell anyway.
Bernadette: I don't think you would.
Howard: Please, I've made plenty of girls laugh, sometimes just by asking them out.
Bernadette: [Laughs]
Howard: Yeah, well, I fake my orgasms.
Howard: A mineral and rock show? That would be awful even without Bert.
Amy: So what am I supposed to do now?
Raj: Prepare your uterus for his gigantic offspring
Howard: Yeah, he's nice because he likes you.
Amy: What? No he doesn't.
Raj: He brought you a pretty rock.
Amy: So? He does that every day----Oh.
Raj: This might be my second favorite brown magic wand.
Howard: Well, that's the last time I play with that.
Astronaut Massimino: Well, you know how astronauts need to have the "right stuff"?
Howard: Sure.
Astronaut Massimino: The stuff you have is wrong.
Sheldon: Do you have any idea what it's like to see your mother ravaging someone?
Howard: Does a brisket count?
Raj: Anyone in?
All the Guys: No!
Sheldon: Do not stop refreshing your screens!
All the Guys: Refresh. Refresh. Refresh....
Penny: Yeah, this is not gonna be enough coffee.
Raj: So that's it. Everything's sold out?
Leonard: Yeah.
Howard: I can't believe we're not going.
Sheldon: It's okay. You know, there-there's always WonderCon in Annheim, you know? That-That's just as good. ... Excuse me. [Cries]
