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Community

Troy: First time I got punched in the face, I was like oh no, then I was like this is a story.
Jeff: And a good one.

Troy: You're pretty big dude, I bet you have some moves.
Jeff: Yeah I got some theories.
Abed: You've never been in a fight?
Jeff: Technically no. I guess I'm too charming and likeable. Call me a name.
Troy: I can't...
Pierce: You're telling me you've never been punched in the face?
Jeff: No, thank god. This is the money maker.

Bully: You want to dance?
Britta: Maybe to some show tunes.
Jeff: No, I want to beat the crap out of you and I'm going to enjoy it because you're just like this school: you're obnoxious, you're cramping my style and you smell like french fry oil.

True or falso or none of the above. That doesn't make any sense.

Pierce: So what's the deal Jeff, you leave your stones in your other suit? Why didn't you wrap that guy in the face?
Jeff: For the same reason I floss, have a bed frame, and keep my guitar in its case. I'm over 23.

Bully: Give me a winter doodle.
Jeff: If you're trying to be menacing, maybe you shouldn't call the cookie by its name.

Pierce: At some point a man stops looking for a place to hang his underwear and starts looking for a place to hang his hat.
Jeff: I'm sorry I was waiting for that to become inappropriate or racist.

Jeff: Just this morning as I was shaving while listening to some Jay-Z, I was thinking about going for a gallop.
Secretary: Do you own a horse?
Jeff: Can you ever really own a horse?

Jeff [reading cookie]: You got AIDs, unless you go to the Greendale STD fair.
Annie: I wrote that.
JefF: Congratihorrible.

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