Jeff Winger Quotes (Page 21)
Season 1, Episode 5: "Advanced Criminal Law"
Jeff: If I'm gonna cheat, I'm not gonna write information from a book on a piece of paper, that's practically learning for God's sake
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Jeff: So I guess the cell phone number you put on the study group contact sheet was fake, which I just learned in the awkward conclusion of a month long text message affair with a dude from boulder
Britta: Sorry
Jeff: That's okay, just give me your real number and I'll cleanse my pallet while Kevin rethinks his marriage
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Professor Duncan: Good morning. How is student life, my dry-witted friend?
Jeff: Probably the same as teacher life, but less tragic, because I get to leave.
Professor Duncan: Very dry. Very witty. Not a great friend
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 1, Episode 4: "Social Psychology"
Shirley: Look, we can still hang out. It's just... we won't bag on people.
Shirley: Come on, Jeff, what are we going to talk about? My- kids? Your doctor career?
Jeff: I was a lawyer.
Shirley: See, I'm already bored
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Shirley: I don't see why you and Britta aren't together, two cute white people going to school together, it just seems right
Jeff: Shirley, we're not pandas in a zoo
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Britta [about Vaughn]: The problem right now is that he's calling me "baby." He's trying to hold my hands. It's... it's getting a little relationshipy and... he gave me something.
Jeff: Herpes?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Britta: Hey Vaugn, what's up?
Vaughn: No worries
Jeff: Interesting, cause I might be worried if I was playing hacky sack a decade too late
• Rating: Unrated
Britta: Aren't you supposed to have an Olympic gold medal in gibber jabber
Jeff: Yeah, but I'm a sprinter. I'm at my best during high speed bursts of wit.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 1, Episode 3: "Introduction to Film"
Britta: Did you do all that to me on purpose? That's not a very nice way to treat your friends
Abed: Well, Britta, it isn't called friend business, it's called show business [lights up a cigarette and leaves the room]
Britta: He's smoking!
Jeff: Honey, let him leave the nest
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Abed: Jeff, I have to make some adjustments to my film, you'll play my father
Jeff: I don't want to be your father
Abed: Perfect, you already know the lines
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 227
