Rufus: You used to cry when I didn't walk you to school.
Jenny: That wasn't me, that was Dan.
Dan: I was six. It was a very emotional time for me, post-tee ball.

Dan: I see the cat's out of the bag.
Rufus: And topless on Valentino's yacht.
Jenny: That's not fair. Everyone's topless on Valentino's yacht.
Rufus: What about this one where's she's dancing on the table?
Eric: Well, that's what you do in Barcelona.
Rufus: And this one with Prince Harry doing shots off of —
Dan: That's what you do in St. Tropez!

Okay, I don't know what Dan said, but why would you take romantic advice from a guy who has a Cabbage Patch doll?

Dan: Hey, Mrs. van der Woods... Lily, hi!
Lily: Dan. Jenny.
Jenny: Hi!
Lily: Tree!
Dan: Yeah, um, they don't allow Christmas trees inside... which is why we're out here.
Jenny: Which is why Dan wants to ask from you a favor.
Lily: Let me guess. Does it involve distracting Dexter while you sneak that into the elevator?
Dan: Why, would that work?
Lily: No. Never. He has the eyes of a hawk and he takes his job very seriously.
Dan: So, I've noticed.
Lily: But Bobby at the service entrance, I think could be bought. Come.

Blair: My, my. If it isn't Little J, risen from the ashes?
Jenny: I came to tell you in person. You win.
Blair: Oh sweetie, we just started to play.
Jenny: No, you don't understand. I'm done. With you, with them, all of it.
Blair: Just like that, you wave the white flag.
Jenny: I lied. And I stole and I lost the respect for my family. For what, so I can be like you? You asked me before if it was all worth it. And my answer is, it's not.
Blair: I tried to warn you. There's a price to pay. I always knew a girl like you couldn't afford it.
Jenny: Well you were right.

Jenny: Let's play a game.
Chuck: I'd say strip poker. But I don't have any cards.

Jenny: Come on, Dan, Serena said hi to you at a ninth grade birthday party and you've never forgotten it.
Dan: How could I? She was the only person who spoke to me.

Jenny: Well, I've never seen you give up so easily.
Dan: Can you not start with me?
Jenny: Can you not give me something to start with? Why are you taking his advice? He's old and alone.
Dan: What?
Jenny: Tell Serena again. Without the pregnancy scare in a quiet, without a distraction kind of way. But, then again, what do I know about romance or anything else?
Dan: No, no. Actually, Jen, that's a very good idea.
Jenny: What would you do without me?
Dan: Promise me I will find out one day?
Jenny: Uh-huh.

Eleanor: You are lucky that I don't fire you this minute.
Jenny: You are lucky that I don't just quit!

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