Jenny: Well, keep dreaming. Maybe one day she'll actually know your name.
Dan: Yeah, maybe. And then I'll have something to be thankful for.

Dan: (reading a Christmas card) This one is from the Smiths. "Seasons Greetings." It's very original.
Jenny: Their name is Smith, you don't have to be original.

Dan: Hey, Mrs. van der Woods... Lily, hi!
Lily: Dan. Jenny.
Jenny: Hi!
Lily: Tree!
Dan: Yeah, um, they don't allow Christmas trees inside... which is why we're out here.
Jenny: Which is why Dan wants to ask from you a favor.
Lily: Let me guess. Does it involve distracting Dexter while you sneak that into the elevator?
Dan: Why, would that work?
Lily: No. Never. He has the eyes of a hawk and he takes his job very seriously.
Dan: So, I've noticed.
Lily: But Bobby at the service entrance, I think could be bought. Come.

Rufus: My son, the writer.
Alison: Published writer.
Jenny: Yeah, you got your dream girl and you're star of the New Yorker. Maybe you should just die now.
Dan: It's true. I may have peaked.

Jenny: Well, I've never seen you give up so easily.
Dan: Can you not start with me?
Jenny: Can you not give me something to start with? Why are you taking his advice? He's old and alone.
Dan: What?
Jenny: Tell Serena again. Without the pregnancy scare in a quiet, without a distraction kind of way. But, then again, what do I know about romance or anything else?
Dan: No, no. Actually, Jen, that's a very good idea.
Jenny: What would you do without me?
Dan: Promise me I will find out one day?
Jenny: Uh-huh.

Blair: If you go with them, I'll ruin you.
Jenny: And how are you possibly going to do that?

Dan: I can't concentrate.
Jenny: The sound of your own voice annoying you?

Elise: What are you doing? He's gorgeous.
Jenny: He's a dog-walker. I need a king, not a jester.

Rufus: You used to cry when I didn't walk you to school.
Jenny: That wasn't me, that was Dan.
Dan: I was six. It was a very emotional time for me, post-tee ball.

Even you should know that jealousy clashes with L.L. Bean pants!

[to Eric] Oh my God, wait, do you have a crush on me or something? Don't be embarrassed, it's totally understandable, and not that unexpected actually. I'm flattered, it's just, my heart belongs to Asher. I've gotta go, but text me, okay?

Jenny: So we should just be anonymous losers who eat lunch alone and never get invited to parties?
Dan: Works for me.

Gossip Girl Quotes

Even Blair Waldorf can not bend DNA to her will.

Dan

Hazel: Do you know what you're doing, Little J?
Jenny: I'm not Little J anymore.