Favorite Joel Graham Quotes
Joel: You know what? We're going to get another baby and we'll start over. This one's a bust.
Julia: Babe, that's not funny!
Joel: It's pretty funny.
Joel: How do I set boundaries with your sister?
Julia: Her you just help.
You killed her!
Let me get this stright. Crosby was there but Run DMC was not.
It doesn't matter what happened with Ed because I am the one that walked out. I walked out on you and I walked out on our kids. You know I took a vow to you, I took a vow when we got married, that I would, that I would uphold our marriage in good times and bad. I know that. And I failed. I failed you. And I felt such shame, Julia. I mean I felt like I didn't even deserve to be in your life anymore. But so long as you're my wife, so long as we're still married, I am going to do everything in my power to uphold those vows. I love you so much. I have never stopped loving you and I am going to honor you for the rest of my days. If you'll have me.
Joel: I can't do this, honey.
Julia: Why not?
Joel: I don't even know where to start. Ths room is freezing, I'm sitting here, they're playing muzak, there are people walking by and they gave me a stack of Playboys from the 1980s and told me to give 'em a call when I'm done. It's so weird, honey.
Julia: Well, what do you want me to do? Do you, um, do you want me to help?
Joel: Whaddya mean?
Julia: I mean, like, phone sex.
Joel: You know how to do that?
Camille: Zeek, the walkies...
Zeek: One per car. Please don't lose these.
Joel: It'd be hard to.
You either pick a sport or play the violin.
Joel: What am I going to do; I'm going to show them how to use fabric softener properly?
Zeek: Joel, I mean really. These kids are kindergartners, you could light your own fart and they would think you were Einstein. Come on!
Joel: Awesome, awesome.Thank you, so much. Yeah, baby, my boys can swim. Woo!
Sydney. Swim? Daddy, are we getting fish?
Joel: No, daddy just did really well on a test.
Joel: If we're going to have another baby Julia there has to be room for me. You can't be the one making all the plans and I just, I can't be the yes man.
Julia: I know, I do.
Julia: I'm going back out there. I've read ten books on sex-ed I think I have a little bit of a better handle on how to explain a penis to a six year old girl.
Joel: Can we just give it five or six years to shake off the damage we've done and start fresh?
