Popular Jonathan Ames Quotes
Woman: You're the private cop?
Jonathan: Yes. Or detective. Or investigator. They all work.
Ray: You can't do that. That's illegal.
Jonathan: I say that I'm not license. And that makes it more legal... ish.
Ray: You mind if I smoke pot in here?
George: Can I have some?
Jonathon: I can help people.
Ray: Are you delusional?
Jonathan: I still like the way pot makes me think - maybe it's healthy.
Suzanne: Pot is not healthy.
Jonathan: They give it to cancer patients.
Suzanne: You don't have cancer.
Jonathan: Not yet...
These one hitters should really be called three hitters.
George
It's dangerous to go cold turkey - I'm down to white wine.
Jonathan: 'I love you more than you know. Jonathan.'
Suzanne: That was a nice note. But you don't have to read your name in the end.
Jonathan: I know. I'm very literal-minded. You know that.
(Jennifer suspecting her boyfriend is cheating)
Jonathan: Are you sure?
Jennifer: That's what my therapist said. 'Are you sure?' Yes, I'm sure! God, it's like I'm surrounded by Holocaust deniers. It happened. I'm sure!
Jonathan: Oh my God, what the hell happened to your lip? You were stung by a bee?
George: Yes. A bee with herpes.
Jonathan: God, that's the biggest herpes blister I've ever seen in my life.
George: Thank you. I'm very proud of it.
I've always been intrigued by Stockholm Syndrome. Make me think of my childhood.
Jonathon
