I think I've got the right tree. Just sick of barking.

She can't bring any more crazy to this street than I did.

Now I can see what I've done to my life and how I've ruined it.

I certainly have a firmer grasp on reality now. I can see things for the first time in a long while, very clearly

Not only did Susan shoot me at point blank range, she trashed me to all my friends and neighbors.

Katherine: Haven't seen you in a while.
Susan: Well, I've been... using the back door a lot more lately.

Karen: When Roy's spirits are drooping, the problem is global. You get the picture?
Lynette: Getting the picture isn't the problem. It's getting rid of it.

Susan: Oh my God! Katherine, the gun just went off. Are you all right?
Katherine: You tried to kill me!
Susan: Okay, I just shot you. Let's not be throwing accusations around.

Gabrielle: What?
Carlos: You never liked Mama.
Gabrielle: Well, it's awfully hard to like someone who actively hates your guts. She always thought you married beneath you and she let me know it.
Carlos: She loved you.
Gabrielle: She treated me like trash! God rest her soul.
Carlos: I'm putting my mother in the grave. Now is not the time to pinch pennies.
Gabrielle: Carlos, we're not exactly flush with cash right now. Let her be true to her roots. She was born humble and barefoot.
Carlos: She was a queen

Desperate Housewives Quotes

Dr. Barr: Hey there. I was surprised to hear you wanted a session.
Bree: Well, there's nothing like being tied to a bed to change a girl's mind.
Dr. Barr: What do you wanna talk about?
Bree: Anything at all. As you said, I...I have a lot of issues.
Dr. Barr: Well, I assumed as much when you told the ridiculous story about your daughter running off with a murderer.
Bree: Saw right through that, did ya?
Dr. Barr: Well, I'm a trained professional, Bree. The human mind is my playground.
Bree: Well, I'm glad that you're having fun.

(to dead body) "Tu me manques, Monique" ("I Miss You Monique").

Orson