Desperate Housewives

Desperate Housewives Quotes

Episode 12: "What's the Good of Being Good"

Renee: I don't even like baby talk from babies.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mary Alice: Sometimes the only thing that needs to be removed is a memory.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bree: It was lovely having sex with you. Have a wonderful day.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Renee: If it's a three-way, that's how I met my ex-husband.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Episode 11: "Who Can Say What's True?"

Mary Alice: Good friends are the ones who tell us the truth about ourselves... even when the truth might be something we're reluctant to admit - that we still have a great deal to learn, that we sometimes need to ask for help, that we maybe overlooking a golden opportunity. Yes, hearing the truth can often set us on a different path, but we never know where that path might take us or who might be watching.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bree: Have you ever taken the bus at 1 o'clock in the morning, Renee? It makes you stop believing in God.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Renee: The Bronte sisters? Geez, even your boob jokes are repressed.

 
 • Rating: Unrated

Bree: I don't like your accusatory tone.
Gaby: Well, I'd use a different tone, but I'm trying to accuse you of something.
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 10: "What's to Discuss, Old Friend"

Gaby: It's a cop funeral. What do you expect... clowns?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Carlos: You think I killed someone? It's not like potato chips.
 • Rating: Unrated

Renee: I'd rather see you in a straightjacket than in a coffin.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mary Alice: Keeping secrets is a lonely business. That's why we all search for someone to confide in: an ally who will understand, an advisor who we can trust, a friend who will never judge.
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 8: "Suspicion Song"

Mary Alice: There comes a time when we must expose our weaknesses. When our secrets can no longer remain private, when our solitude can no longer be denied, when our pain can no longer be ignored, but sometimes we feel so alone that a weaknesses we thought we'd overcome suddenly becomes too long to fight.
 • Rating: Unrated

Gaby: It's like a book. Meet Dick and Jane. See Jane kill Dick. See Jane bury Dick. Run, Jane. Run, Jane.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Renee: Oh my God, look at your hair!
Lynette: Do you like it?
Renee: Is it permanent?
Lynette: No.
Renee: Then I love it!
 • Rating: Unrated

Gaby: It's a Mexican hangover cure. It's the only thing I inherited from my family that's actually worth anything.
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 7: "Always in Control"

Renee: She may have gone to the school with the wicked witch, but you went to school with me?
 • Rating: Unrated

Gaby: When is the last time you brushed your... is this a lollipop?
 • Rating: Unrated

Gaby: Which one is the salad fork?
Juanita: What's salad?
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 6: "Witch's Lament"

Bree: We just need to do this in the most efficient manner possible. Find the grave, dig up the body, wrap it in a tarp, weigh it down with some bricks, and toss it into the lake. I have all of the supplies in my trunk, along with clean towels, hand sanitizers, and breathing masks... in case the stench is overwhelming.
 • Rating: Unrated

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