Archer

Mondays 10:00 PM on FX
Archer

That wasn't a brain chip. That was a just a sticker of the backpack of a little Lego spaceman.

Krieger: I am a doctor.
Ray & Cyril: No you're not.
Krieger: Well, no, but a student of life.

Kreiger clones: All will be revealed...in time.
Kreiger: And if there's one thing I love more than triumph, it's annoying vagueness.

Krieger: I think it's some unholy adolescent human amphibian hybrid creature.
Kreiger clones: Yes.
Krieger: I'm home! I'm finally home!

Malory: So this whole thing was just a sham?
Krieger: Well, if by sham you mean...sham...

Cyril: So...why are we in our underwear?
Krieger: Meh...don't worry about it.

Ray: This quit being funny two hours ago!
Krieger: It's not supposed to be funny.

You'd be amazed what you people do when you think you're alone. Cyril.

Krieger: I'll be your doctor.
Lana: Well, if I want Hitler's DNA spliced into him, I'll give you a call.
Kriger: Yeah, I'm around.

Sterling: If you don't want to see two robots smashing each other with cop cars and shit as they fight each other through the streets of Manhattan...
Krieger: Stop. My penis can only get so erect.

Krieger: Do you ever want to walk again?
Gillette: No, because this way I never have to buy new shoes.
Krieger: Yeah, but is that worth it?

Gillette: Yes, I piss and shit in a bag.
Krieger: Me too!

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 31 in total

Archer Quotes

Bloody mary, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now in the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.

Archer

Hawley: Awww screw me!
Archer: ...said Ripley to the android Bishop.

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