Archer
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXKrieger Quotes
(to his cat) If I wanted your asshole on my mouth, I'd do it while you were asleep!
Krieger: Look, I'm just following orders.
Barry: That's what the Nazis said!
Krieger: Yeah, tell ME about Nazis.
What a load of shit. I should be looking for my partner's killer but instead I'm looking for a damn finger.
Archer
And by the way, if I was a clone of Adolf goddamn Hitler, wouldn't I look like Adolf goddamn Hitler?!
Kreiger
Maybe I didn't go to some fancy-pancy Ivy League med school, and maybe I didn't go to some other med school, even the one down in Grenada which was my fall-back but whatever, that doesn't give you the right to bully me! I have had it!
Pam: I was voted best milker!
Krieger: Me too!
Everyone: Eww.
Krieger: I've been working on miniaturization for years!
Cyril: Krieger, those were shrinky dinks.
Krieger: It's the same principle!
Krieger: Alrighty, can someone give me a hand?
Cheryl: But Doctor, I thought the patient was getting the hand.
Krieger: Speaking of hands, Nurse, I'm -
Cheryl: Overplaying yours?
Krieger: Well I was gonna say "putty in yours" m'dear but I'll have to hand it to ya!
Cheryl: Hmm - keep your hands to yourself, Doctor.
Cyril: Can we have a show of hands? Who thinks this is getting out of hand?
Ray: Goddammit!! Can you please shut up - and sew on my robot hand!
Pam: How do you not murder her every day?
Krieger: I do!
Pam: No! The solution to every problem isn't throwing freakin' acid on it.
Krieger: Unless the problem is a solution with an overly alkaline pH balance.
Archer: Where's Lana?
Krieger: I'm not even 100% sure where I am right now. (gets shot with a tranquilizer for the 3rd time by Archer)
Archer: (to tranquilizer gun) You are my new favorite thing
Lana: What is it, soup?
Ray: Define soup.
Lana: Would it be safe to assume that no one wants to drink what's in your thermos?
Krieger: Sweet Jesus God, I would hope so!
