Favorite Lana Kane Quotes
Lana: What's your third biggest fear?
Archer: Brain aneurysm.
Lana: What's a brain aneurysm have to do with walking around in a swamp?
Archer: Nothing, it can happen anywhere at anytime, that's what makes it so terrifying.
Pam: What a hunk
Cheryl: Total sploosh.
Lana: Yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
Gillette: And whatever my equivalent of sploosh. Which I guess is just sploosh. Only with semen.
Archer: You're black...ish.
Archer: Well what's the word for it, Lana? You freaked out when I said quadroon!
Lana: (sarcastic) Imagine that!!
Archer: You imagine it!
Malory: BOTH OF YOU IMAGINE SHUTTING UP!!!
Malory: Lana, you go straight to Moscow.
Malory: Of course undercover.
Lana: As what? Russia's only black woman?
Lana: What's your blood type?
Archer: Who am I Karl Landsteiner?
I am literally wet with jealousy.
Lana [opens cooler of nothing but beer]: You're shitting me.
Archer: I know. A rainbow should shoot out every time you open it.
Archer: She doesn't look like she's just turning 17.
Lana: No, she looks like she's just turning 18.
Archer: Exactly. Plus Europeans use the metric system...
Gandalf: I love your new hairdo, by the way.
Lana: Well if you like the collar, you're gonna love the cuffs.
Archer: Lana, did you see my scarf?
Lana: Yes, Archer. I saw your scarf.
Archer: All my hair fell out.
Lana: I'm sorry.
Archer: Me too. It was my fifth best feature.
Lana: A non-circumcised Jewish guy, that's not weird to you?
Archer: No. Why would... I mean, I'm not Jewish, and I am circumcised so it can happen the other-
Lana: It doesn't work like that.
Archer: Lana come on. I think we both know it works fine.
Lana: Aw, come on! Not your dick, dumb ass!
Lana: Thanks, no. I'm allergic to cat piss.