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Leela: There's got to be a lady tortoise out there for you, Hubert. What about her?
Professor Farnsworth: Are you crazy? She's a slightly different subspecies. See how her shell flares imperceptibly at the neck? Talk about a cloaca shrinker.

Bender: No robot cow should have to be milked by a milking machine! And no milking machine should have to milk a robot cow!
Leela: Those injustices don't even exist.
Bender: Then let's find some that do!

Zoidberg: I'm Dr. Zoidberg I'm very important.
Leela: Hey Zoidberg you forgot to empty this trash can!

Bender: I gotta mope things over for a while.
Fry: What's happening?
Leela: I don't know. I think he's shuffling off sadly in the distance.
Fry: Oh lord.

Leela: I ate Fry! I broke up with my boyfriend and then I ate him!
Professor Farnsworth: Oh now, now, we've all been there.

Leela: Professor, there's nothing wrong with Nectar. It's all natural.
Professor Farnsworth: So are carrots, but you don't see me injecting them between my toes! [Lights up carrot, smokes it]

Well, we lost to all our opponents. Even that team that turned out to be us in the mirror.

Leela: Amy, remember when we tried out for the Rockettes?
Amy: And we failed because we accidentally kicked those two Rockettes to death? Yeah, why do you bring that up? Oh!

Amy: I love your boots, Leela! Nobody would ever guess they're knockoffs!
Leela: How could you tell?
Amy: I guessed!

I will shove you in a filthy nursing home so fast, you won't know what hit you! Probably a filthy nurse!

Leela: It's time to get on with your life.
Morris: But she was my life:
Bender: Awww.
Fry: [silence]
Leela: [silence]
Bender: What?

Leela: The truth is, I once slept with him. A few times.
Munda: I know, he showed me the commemorative painting.

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