Favorite Lily van der Woodsen Quotes
Chuck: If your people don't come up with anything, maybe we can try #26.
Lily: (reading) Crash Jack in plane. The Bass jet is kind of expensive, Charles.
Chuck: There's insurance.
Is this the moment you fall in love with me? Oh, it is, isn't it? You're totally falling in love with me right now.
Young Lily
Lily: Rufus, what are you doing here? I thought we had security.
Rufus: You want them to throw me out?
Lily: Well I'd like the option considering how much I'm paying them.
Rufus: (answering the phone) This better not be my wife.
Lillian: Rufus! You always answer the phone like that?!
Lily: Don't try to be cute. Those days are long behind you.
Rufus: And here I was, thinking I get better looking every day.
Chuck: Disrespecting your marriage... betraying my father with Rufus Humphrey.
Lily: I did no such thing.
Chuck: He was coming to fight for you. Talk about dying for nothing.
Lily: Did you really try to send him anthrax through the mail?
Chuck: The black market's not what it used to be.
I don't even know how to be a prostitute. I mean really, how much small talk is required? And where do you even go? And are BJs a must? Because if that's the case, I'm so not doing that.
Young Lily
Rufus: Since when were you the patron saint of former rock stars?
Lily: Since when were you a rock star?
Dan: Hey, Mrs. van der Woods... Lily, hi!
Lily: Dan. Jenny.
Jenny: Hi!
Lily: Tree!
Dan: Yeah, um, they don't allow Christmas trees inside... which is why we're out here.
Jenny: Which is why Dan wants to ask from you a favor.
Lily: Let me guess. Does it involve distracting Dexter while you sneak that into the elevator?
Dan: Why, would that work?
Lily: No. Never. He has the eyes of a hawk and he takes his job very seriously.
Dan: So, I've noticed.
Lily: But Bobby at the service entrance, I think could be bought. Come.
Lily: (re: Jack) The bastard is untouchable.
Chuck: What shall we do?
Lily: Time to get dirty. I'm all yours.
Chuck: Let me educate you.
Lily: When you two are done hiding up here, I'm taking you both out for dessert.
Serena: Can't, mom. I'm busy.
Lily: But this is important for our family. It would be just the three of us.
Serena: Mom, every time you say, "it would be just the three of us," it means you're dating someone new. Whoever it is, I don't care. I'll just see him at the wedding.
Lily: Fine. Then, I'll just tell you who it is because you're going to be seeing him around from now on. It's Bart Bass.
Eric and Serena: Bart Bass!?
Serena: Mom, you cannot date Bart Bass.
Lily: You just said a moment ago you don't care who it was.
Serena: That was before I knew who it was.
