Popular Lindsay Bluth Fünke Quotes
Lindsay: You've had $80,000 worth of cartography lessons. Get us a channel to the ocean.
Buster: Okay, okay, okay.
(Pauses)
Buster: Obviously this blue part here is the land.
Michael: (about George Michael) Well, I guess he really misses his family.
Lindsay: Well, he doesn't know us very well.
Michael: Yeah, clearly.
Tobias: I'm alright, gang. What an adventure gang. I thought that the homosexuals were pirates, but it turns out most of them were actors in the local theater. You're right, though. It is amazing, I've been waiting for the universe to provide a path for me ... And I think it has ...
Lindsay: You're gay?
Tobias: No. No ... Ha, I'm not gay. How many times must we have this conversation?
(regarding uncircumcised penises) I think it looks frightening when it's cut off. It's a Doberman -- let it have its ears.
Lucille: Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire!
Lindsay: Good grief, Mother! Not all homosexuals are flamboy -- Oh, my God, I have the exact same blouse.
Michael: What's going on? This is exactly where the two of you were when I left this morning. Is nobody going to even try to get a job?
Lindsay: I have a job, Michael. It's called "supporting my husband."
Michael: You certainly haven't been shopping. The only thing I found in the freezer was a dead dove in a bag.
Gob: You didn't eat that, did you? 'Cause I've only got a couple days left to return it.
Lindsay: Roger was my male counterpart in high school.
Roger: Remember how crazy our hair was back then?
Lindsay: Oh ... What were we thinking? So, what are you doing now?
Tobias: He's, uh, casting my commercial.
Roger: Yeah, trying to. The South Coast Boutique is having a fire sale.
Lindsay: South Coast Boutique? They're having a fire sale?!
Tobias: I agree with Michael; it's important not to tie your self-esteem to how you look or what people think of you. I mean, look at me- I'm an actor. An actor, for crying out loud. You know how much rejection I face every day? But in this business of show, you have to have the heart of an angel and the hide... of an elephant.
Lindsay: But, you've never actually had an audition.
Tobias: Well... excuse me! Excuse me.
Lindsay: Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough.
Lucille: Not as much as you enjoyed yours. You want your belt to buckle, not your chair.
Lucille: You might want to let that fire go out before you stick your face in it.
Lindsay: Ah, that's funny. Because I was going to say, you might want to lean away from that fire since you're soaked in alcohol.
Lucille: Mine was better.
Tobias: Michael, if I could stick my pretty, little nose in here for one second. When I was a psychiatrist, and this is before I became an actor...
Lindsay: You're still not an actor.
Tobias: Lovely... I saw a lot of this type of behavior, and what I think you're experiencing is your son's very normal need to distance himself from his overbearing father. Am I touching something? Watch this. Maeby, where are you off to in this glorious
(Tobias is inadvertently touching the cornballer)
Tobias: Hot! Hot hot!
Michael: Be careful. Are you okay?
Tobias: (whimpers and grimaces for a few seconds) Hot hot...Now, take my daughter for example. She lives her life, and I get the pleasure of guessing what that mind entailed on. Watch this. Maeby, where are you off to in this glorious Sunday afternoon? (whispers to Michael) She won't tell you.
Maeby: I'm going to audition for a play.
Tobias: Well, that time it didn't work...What?! What play?
Maeby: It's for high school. You can't audition.
Tobias: I was totally wrong! She's reaching out to her actor daddy. DOES ANYONE HAVE AN ICE PACK?!
Um, I forget their name, but I know they're hungry. I think some are thirsty.
