Maeby: Are you really going to whore yourself out like that?
Lindsay: I am not a whore.
Maeby: Yeah, you're a whore.

Okay, so you figured it out Gene Parmesan.

I'm surrounded by squalor and death and I still can't be happy.

Tobias: Everyone thinks I'm gay?
Lindsay: I mean, it's kind of a running joke...in the family.

So where do you keep your ostriches?

Lindsay: I really love you, Tobias.
Tobias: Oh Lindsay. We have got to get you to that acting clinic.
Lindsay: And that was with me picturing fudge.

Lindsay: It's cute on me. But I thought it was supposed to say 'Kate.'
Salesman: Oh no. Anything under a small is considered a 'David Spade.'

Lindsay: Oh my God! Did we just hit something? Shouldn't we stop?
Indian woman: No, it wasn't a cow. It was just a tourist.

Tobias: I believe we're thinking the same thing. Let's give it another shot...
Lindsay: Yeah. We should end it.
Tobias: ...to the head. Kill it. Yes.

Stan Sitwell: Five percent? Lucille actually gave you less than her natural children.
Lindsay: I hope that's not a crack about my hair color, lips, forehead, nose and teeth because at least I'm not the wearing a round sweater set on my face.

Michael: So, you just finished off the bottle?
Lindsay: Well, I had to. It's vodka, you know. It goes bad once it's opened.
Michael: I think that's another one of mum's little fibs. You know, like, I'll sacrifice anything for my children.

Michael: So, there's going to be wine at the rehab, huh?
Lindsay: Well, wine only turns into alcohol if you let it sit.
Michael: (to Lucille) How do you come up with these?

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 162 in total

Arrested Development Quotes

Oh, mercy me! I forgot that we were in the colonies.

Mrs. Featherbottom

(holding stuffed animals) These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. Now if you'll excuse me, they're putting me in something called Hero Squad.

Buster
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