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Lindsay: Come on, Michael. Who knows how long our parents are going to be around?
Michael: Yeah, well, I got to tell you. I was over at her place today, and she looked a little frail to me. She was having trouble even lifting up this bag of groceries. All right, we will do the surprise party.

Michael: Where the (bleep) was everybody?
Gob: What are you talking about?
Michael: Mom's party. Where were you guys?
Gob: It's the first I've heard about it.
Michael: What about you? Neiman's?
Lindsay: Prison. Then Neiman's. But only because I'm going back to prison, and they've already seen me in this.

Tobias: I would be happy to play Adam. Uh, I'd prefer a speaking part.
Lindsay: Please don't speak for the rest of the meeting.
Tobias: Zing!

Lucille: Barry's very good.
Lindsay: He's an idiot.

Lindsay: Maeby, where have you been?
Maeby: You left me at home. You do remember you have a daughter, right?
Tobias: Uh, yes. Uh, of course we remember, and we were worried sick, young lady. She's fine. Our daughter is all right.

Lucille: Lupe, there are some juice glasses on the sofa table.
Lindsay: Oh, Mama, I'll help you clean up. (to Lupe) There are some salad plates on the piano.

Lindsay: Fine. I'll ask Michael. He'll give it to me.
Lucille: Well, maybe if you get him drunk. It's the only way he'll give money to someone who calls his "stay-in-bed-mom..."
Lindsay: He said that about me?
Lucille: I know it was harsh, but, you know, he thinks you're completely irresponsible. A stay-in-bed mom. Probably because you don't work, and you're lazy. Oh ... his words.

Lindsay: No, Michael, I don't just sleep all day.
Narrator: Actually, Lindsay was so upset at Michael that she tried meditating to calm herself but ended up taking a two-hour angry nap.

Lindsay: Yeah. So did I. And now I hear you're telling our mother that I'm completely irresponsible and a stay-in-bed mom?
Michael: That doesn't even sound like me. That sounds like Mom. Or Bruce Vilanch. Could be Bruce Vilanch.

Lindsay: She's always trying to get me to admit that my marriage isn't working.
Michael: So, how's it going with you and Tobias?
Lindsay: It's not working.

Lindsay: He's a never-nude.
Michael: Is that exactly what it sounds like?

Lindsay: My thing with Tobias was a secret, like you stealing your brother's girlfriend, you little weasel. I mean, I open up to you, you run off and tell Mommy.
Michael: Excuse me. Excuse me! Outside, please. Thank you. Pardon us. Like it wasn't just a bunch of lies to get me to pay that debt, huh? Isn't that why you got me drunk in the first place?

Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 162 in total

Arrested Development Quotes

(holding stuffed animals) These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. Now if you'll excuse me, they're putting me in something called Hero Squad.

Buster

Oh, mercy me! I forgot that we were in the colonies.

Mrs. Featherbottom