Rory Gilmore: Any chance you could go faster?
Lorelai Gilmore: Yeah, you got a girl's future in that sack of yours. Santa...
Rory Gilmore: Thank you for adding the Santa.

I've got the good kid.

Rory Gilmore: I gotta go, but call me if there's any news.
Lorelai Gilmore: You mean if Michel kills Babette, then Miss Partty, them himself, and then it's a bizarre murder, suicide.
Rory Gilmore: Amongst other things.

(about Emily's manipulative tactics) She's like Lyndon Johnson with the Senate. Effortless.

Sherry: I can't just stop everything because...
Lorelai: You're having a baby. Admitting it is the first step.

Young Christopher: (in flashback, about baby Rory) She's pretty.
Young Lorelai: She's perfect.
Young Christopher: I guess this means we have to get married now.

Lorelai: We want to do it cheap.
Emily: We'll pay.
Lorelai: No.
Rory: Grandma, it's going to be fun really.
Lorelai: Kids do it all the time.
Emily: Yes, but you're not a kid.

Lorelai: Tell Sherry to keep her legs crossed 'til I get there.
Rory: Does that work?
Lorelai: No. Bye.

Lorelai: If I clean up Hug-a-World, does that cancel out me not getting rid of the boxes?
Rory: I'll consider it a wash.
Lorelai: How about if I chase it and bring it back?
Rory: What?
Lorelai:: Hug-a-World would like to see the world.
Rory: It's moving.
Lorelai: There's something living there besides Canadians.

Jackson: You wanna get another produce guy?
Sookie: Maybe I should!
Jackson: Well, go ahead!
Sookie: Don't tempt me!
Jackson: That's it, I am leaving.
Sookie: Go! And take the tendrils with you!
Jackson: Fine! See you tonight?
Sookie: I love you.
Lorelai: And it always ends with a hug.

Lorelai: You look peeved.
Emily: I'm not peeved.
Lorelai: Well, you look peeved.
Emily: Kindly stop making me say the word peeved.

Rory: Which maid was it?
Emily: Gertha, the one from Hamburg, Germany.
Lorelai: Which one was she?
Rory: You remember. She was the one who you made all those Hamburg-hamburger jokes to.
Lorelai: God, I beat that dead horse.
Rory: With glee.
Emily: She was the clomper.
Lorelai: The clomper?
Emily: She'd be upstairs making the bed and it'd sound like a Munich beer hall rally.
Lorelai: That's why you fired her?
Emily: Yes.
Lorelai: Because she made noise when she walked?
Emily: Yes.

Gilmore Girls Quotes

Luke: Me? Raising a kid? I don't even like kids. They're always sticky like they've got jam on their hands. Even if there's no jam in the house, somehow, they've always got jam on their hands! I'm not the right guy to deal with that. I have no patience for jam hands!
Lorelai: First of all, Jess is 17 so I think he's probably pass the jam hands stage by now. Second of all, you can do this. If you want to you are totally capable.

Lorelai: So, dinner, thoughts?
Rory: Let's have some.