Luke Danes Quotes
Luke: They did? I was at the dance, how come I didn't know about this?
Lorelai: Because you're you.
Kirk: Luke, where's your lost and found?
Luke: Outside, in the dumpster.
Luke Danes: What can I get you Kirk?
Kirk Gleason: Patty melt and a coke.
Luke Danes: You want the melt cut into squares or stars today?
Kirk Gleason: Half and half.
Luke: Hey, wait now. You're talking crazy talk trying to confuse me now, aren't you?
Lorelai: Aren't you!
Luke: What?
Lorelai: Who?
Luke: Stop it!
Lorelai: Bye!
Sookie St. James: Not crying.
Lorelai Gilmore: Crying a little.
Sookie St. James: Crying a little, but not blubbering. That's what we meant when we said no crying. No blubbering.
Rory: Thank you, Mom: you are my guidepost for everything.
Sookie St. James: On the verge of blubbering here.
Jackson Belleville: Not doing too well myself.
Lorelai Gilmore: Not you, too.
Luke Danes: I'm blubbering. You're freaks!
Luke Danes: I need to talk to you.
Lorelai: Come inside.
Luke Danes: No, she - Rory's in there!
Lorelai: Since when are you scared of Rory? Cause seriously, Luke, I think you can take her.
Luke Danes: I just need to tell you something. Can she hear us?
Lorelai: Through the walls? No, I put some kryptonite in her waffles. We're good.
Taylor: [in the middle of convincing Nicole to date his nephew, instead of Luke] Luke I'm not talking to you.
Luke: It's my lucky day.
Luke Danes: Don't do that.
Lorelai Gilmore: Don't do what?'
Luke Danes: Don't pull the sheet back after I pull it, i need more room for this side.... You pulled it back again.
Lorelai Gilmore: Okay, I need it for my side.
Luke Danes: I need it to tuck it in.
Lorelai Gilmore: Same here.
Luke Danes: I always tuck it in on this side.
Lorelai Gilmore: Let's tuck it in on both sides.
Luke Danes: You tuck a bed in on both sides?
Lorelai Gilmore: Yes, then I slip down into it like I'm in a straightjacket or something.
Luke Danes: You must feel right at home there.
(Lorelai and Emily are talking about the broken button on Emily's skirt)
Emily: I don't believe it. This is a brand new skirt.
Lorelai: Mom, let me see.
Emily: I have this dinner to go tonight. What am I going to do?
Lorelai: Drink a lot. It's easier to explain not wearing a skirt if you're falling down drunk.
Luke Danes: [about Jess' new car] He paid you for it, right?
Gypsy: Nothing's free at Gypsy's.
Luke Danes: And he paid cash?
Gypsy: Mostly twenties.
Luke Danes: Did you make sure Andrew Jackson was on the bills, not Alfred E. Neuman or someone?
Gypsy: Looked real to me.
Luke Danes: Well when he took the money out of wherever he had it, did a mask or a gun fall out?
Gypsy: No, but he was carrying it in a canvas bag with a big dollar sign on it.
Luke Danes: Really?
Gypsy: No.
Luke Danes: Good.
Gypsy: Guys are stupid.
Luke Danes: What?
Gypsy: You strip your gears, ride your brakes. And if we don't laugh after we make a joke, you think we're serious.
Jackson Belleville: [from off camera] I don't ride my brakes!
Luke: You go make her stop.
Lorelai: I'm not going over there.
Luke: Why not? You're a woman.
Lorelai: So what?
Luke: So you have the same parts.
Lorelai: What?
Luke: You shouldn't be scared of it.
Lorelai: Scared of it? You know, you're gonna be a bachelor for a really long time.
(to Jess) You know what people told me when I said you were coming to live here? They told me I was crazy. They told me I should start writing letters to Jodie Foster -- but I ignored them. I was so sure that I knew what I was doing and then you showed up and you know what? You proved them right. I was crazy. Now, after all the havoc and chaos that you have wreaked, you are seriously standing here in a shirt with hands that are flipping me off telling me you want to come back?!
