Luke Danes Quotes
Luke: So tell me something, what's it like being Taylor's lawyer?
Miss Leahy: Well actually I'm not Mr. Doose's lawyer or only lawyer. He's one of our clients. So all our attorneys deal with him on a rotating basis. It's my month.
Luke: My condolences.
Miss Leahy: You know my father always told me that whatever does not kill you makes you stronger.
Luke: You're gonna be really strong.
Luke: Don't bother, saw you coming, already ordered your Wednesday usual, the French dip, extra fries, the every Wednesday cherry pie.
Rory: Such service.
Lorelai: Oh, and such a food rut we're in.
Rory: Thank you, Luke.
Luke: I gotta get back to stuffing my turkey.
Lorelai: Oh, honey, do you have time to do that and prep your Thanksgiving food?
Luke: Stop it.
Rory: Hey. (hands Luke a bouquet of flowers)
Luke: What's this?
Luke: What do I do with them?
Lorelai: Ugh, not this again.
Rory: Put them in a vase with water.
Luke: I don't have a vase.
Lorelai: You do this every year.
Luke: I don't have vases.
Lorelai: Buy a vase.
Luke: But I don't need a vase 'cause I never have flowers.
Lorelai: Except when we bring you flowers every year on Thanksgiving. Buy a vase.
Luke: Shouldn't we say thanks first?
Jess: For what?
Luke: Well, that we're not Native Americans who got their land stolen in exchange for small pox infested blankets.
Lorelai: Hi there. Um, this is Rory Gilmore and I'm Lorelai Gilmore.
Nurse: Lorelai Gilmore?
Lorelai: Yeah, L - o - r . ..
Nurse: You don't look like you've recently suffered a face-altering car crash.
Lorelai: Uh, excuse me?
Nurse: You're also supposed to have buck teeth, a club foot, and alopecia.
Lorelai: Oh. I'm sorry, who told you this?
Nurse: My husband.
(picking dance partners for Lorelai)
Luke: What about that one?
Lorelai: Hum not!
Luke: Why not?
Lorelai: Too pale
Luke: So what?
Lorelai: Pale means sickly.
Luke: Or sunscreen.
Lorelai: Or mad cows disease!
Luke: Pale does not mean mad cows disease!
Lorelai: Have you ever had mad cows disease?
Luke: Just twice last week and and my color was wonderful.
Lorelai: Have you seen Sookie or Jackson?
Luke: No, but have you tried the insane asylum, where everyone in this room is supposed to be.
Lorelai: My shoe broke! I need you to fix it!
Luke: Do I look like a cobbler to you?
Lorelai: If I say yes, will you fix my shoe?
Luke: (Looks at the breast feeding lady) This cannot be sanitary.
Lorelai: You're right you don't know where those things have been.
Lorelai: No, Luke, thanks for doing this. It's exactly what the contractor said. We just wanted a guy with a good butt's opinion.
Sookie: Yeah, Tom has a terrible butt.
Luke: Please stop that.
Luke: Back when I was on the track team, we went to State three times in four years, and won it twice. Think they made buttons and put up banners? They couldn't care less.
Lorelai: Luke, that's because track is for dorks.
Rory: Yeah, it's true. I'm sorry.
Luke: Okay, the conversing part of this morning is now over.
Luke: Uh, listen, I just want you to know that I had a little talk with Jess earlier.
Lorelai: You did?
Luke: Yes, I did, and I really laid down the rules concerning him and Rory. Trust me, he now knows that I am going to be watching them every second they are together.
Lorelai: Oh good.
Lorelai: You know, they're together now.
Lorelai: Oh yeah. 'I have to get a part for my car,' 'I'm going to go study' - that's kid code for 'Meet me at the previously agreed upon location far away from my clueless uncle.'
Luke: You're kidding me, right? You don't really think that...damn, they are! They're together. They used the kid code and now they're together!