Liz: Lutz what are you working on?
Lutz: Breathing through my mouth so I don't smell the throw up on my shirt.

You know, my Johnny's single, and he gives excellent back rubs, I assure you.

Lutz's mom

Why don't we trick him into kissing me? It would be so funny because I'm not gay.

Were any of the firemen strong? Were any of them the ones from the calendar?

I've worked here for three years. I gave you that car I won?

Yeah, also my girlfriend is mad... in Canada!

Help mommy's baby.

Frank: My god, He's mortal!
Lutz: What just happened!?

Please don't make me move back to Alaska, Liz. I hate it there.

Frank: Yo Tray, we got a problem.
Tracy: [as Jefferson] Pray who be this Tracy Jordan thou speakest of?
Frank: Uh, President Jefferson, we got a problem.
Tracy: Speakest!
Frank: That horse ate your wig.
Tracy: Well, stand guard by his rump and await it in his droppings!
Lutz: Or we could probably just go get a new wig?
Tracy: A-ha! I like you, young man; you shall run my university.

30 Rock Quotes

Don Geiss: If you're watching this, you are an executive of the General Electric Corporation, and the unthinkable has happened. Capitalism is ending, either because of the Soviets or something ridiculous, like a woman President. I'm speaking to you from the year 1987, but the message is timeless: Avoid The Noid!

Liz Lemon is a Judas to all womankind.

Abby Flynn