Lorelai: Okay. Now, Sookie's on top of the menu. Let's make sure the dining room's open for a late lunch, and we need to confirm the number of rooms they'll need.
Michel: Yes, I have all of this written down on a notepad right next to my self-help book, Why Don't People Think You Know What The Hell You're Doing?

Well, this is wonderful, to smell like a dead person. You'll have to beat them off with a stick.

(in Hungarian) A te országod tele van csúnya emberekkel. (Your country is full of ugly people.)

Michel: And you must always be extremely careful of your paddle movements.
Lorelai: Well, that certainly calls for a 'Dirty!'

Michel: Always. You've got to be patient and wait for what you want to appear, then pounce.
Lorelai: Hm, true at an auction, true at a singles bar.

Michel: Take me to the auction.
Lorelai: Michel.
Michel: Take me, I insist you take me.
Lorelai: You don't even know if it'll be any good. It's just Society Women.
Michel: If your mother's involved it will be impeccable, and I haven't been to an impeccable auction in over a year.
Lorelai: Well I don't know.
Michel: What do you want?
Lorelai: Michel, I don't want anything.
Michel: Stop playing coy with me. I want into that auction you name your price.
Lorelai: OK, you've got to work weekends for the rest of this month.
Michel: Done.
Lorelai: And you have to answer the phone when it rings.
Michel: Done.
Lorelai: And answer it in English unless the person is actually foreign.
Michel: Done.
Lorelai: And you have to oversee the nature hikers next week.
Michel: No.
Lorelai: Michel, if you want to go to this auction you have to be in the lobby at 6:00 Friday morning. You have to hand out towels and water bottles. You have to show them the hiking trails and let them give you a nature name.

Lorelai: We can't have a mouse running around the inn. Our guests will freak.
Michel: Tell them it's a baby. People love babies. They'll talk to it in funny voices.

Michel: All right, the piano movers will be here at eight and the chairs will be set up at nine. All the rooms are made up and ready. I will be in at ten. Now I am going home unless you would like me to stay.
Lorelai: Actually, I would, thanks.
Michel: No, I'm sorry, I think I said that wrong. I am going home now unless you would like me to stay.
Lorelai: I would love you to stay, thanks for offering.
Michel: Okay, see, once again, my English not so good. One more time. I am going home now after working six hours longer than I usually work and performing tasks I despise and am ashamed of, and now I am going home to wash off the stench of this horrifying day, that is, unless, for some unknown Godforsaken reason, you need me to stay. Lorelai: Well, actually...
Michel: Goodbye.

Michel: Good morning.
Sookie: It sucks from where I'm sitting.

Michel: You do know what happens when you assume, don't you?
Lorelai: What?
Michel: I don't know! Something about a donkey. It's a stupid American phrase!

Michel: Nine rooms for Luke from Luke's Diner?
Lorelai: That's right.
Michel: French fry convention?
Lorelai: No, just personal.
Michel: Milkshake symposium?
Lorelai: No Michel, it's something personal and I'm vouching for him.
Michel: Soda pop seminar?
Lorelai: Stop!
Michel: Pickle party?

Michel: That fellow's on the phone from the restaurant.
Lorelai: Who?
Michel: The flannel man with the protruding ankles.
Lorelai: Oh, Luke?
Michel: I forgot his name from the desk to here, that's how memorable he is.

Gilmore Girls Quotes

Lorelai: Wait, close your eyes and breathe. I smell snow.
Rory: Ah, it's that time of year.
Lorelai: Can't you smell it?
Rory: You know, it's like dogs and high-pitched noises. I think it's something only you can smell.
(Rory sits down next to Lorelai and pulls a blanket over the both of them)
Lorelai: I love snow.
Rory: Really, I had no idea.
Lorelai: Everything's magical when it snows, everything looks pretty. The clothes are great. Coats, scarves, gloves, hats.
Rory: Thermal underwear, wool socks, ear flaps.

Lorelai: Rory, I love you. I would take a bullet for you. But I'd rather stick something sharp in my ear than go to the club with you.
Rory: Fine.
Lorelai: I'd rather slide down a banister of razor blades and land in a pool of alcohol than go to the club with you.
Rory: I got it.
Lorelai: Don't stop me, I'm on a roll. I'd rather eat my own hand than go to the club with you. Ooh, I'd rather get my face surgically altered to look like that lunatic rich lady with the lion head than go to the club with you.
Rory: Would you like me to drive so you can continue your diatribe?
Lorelai: Would ya? Thanks. I'd rather cut off my head and use it as a punch bowl than go to the club with you.