Jen: Screw crazy bitch.
Naomi: Screw you...I love you too.

I'll hire a nurse who specializes in treating severe cases of bitch.

If you don't stop talking and put that thermometer in your mouth, I will find another place to stick it.

I don't care about penetrating PJ's compound.

I just didn't think it would be Jen who would break my heart.

I said some hippie freaks were selling their crap; she probably wanted to go be with her people.

I happen to believe life means something if you enjoy it.

Preston Hillingsbrook

Son of a bitch is married.

Okay, not a flashlight!

Have you started practicing hailing cabs and being snobbish about pizza?

I take it that role-playing is on your resumes.

My home looks like a well-appointed Chuck E. Cheese.


It's not a mom and dad who are home eating bon bons. It's a couple who's f%$k!

Rob Estes

I am not the kind of girl who can wait until Christmas morning to unwrap her present.