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[to Myrtle about Erica] Somebody give me a stick so I can beat the stupid out of her.

Palmer: Opal, you're one to talk. You really are. First of all, you consorted with drug dealers, and then you got arrested for assaulting one of them. How could I top that?
Opal: Has your memory receded along with your hairline?

I want to know what you were doing while I was sitting in jail fending off the advances of Sheena, the queen of the 5 O'Clock shadow.

Opal: You could have another heart attack if you're aggravated enough.
Palmer: Then leave, and save my life.

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