It's not the spoon that bends - it's only your self.

You've confused me with your musky man smell and made me want to throw you down and eat you like a crumpet and I don't even know what a crumpet is.

Please like you've ever tapped anything but yourself lover boy.

Penny: See I told you not to trust those crazy bitches!
(Joanna gives her a mean stare)
Penny: What?! Too soon?

Joanna: Penny, we're in a crisis. I've got my back against the wall. There's only one thing to do.
Penny: What's that?
Joanna: We need to party.

It's like the hokey pokey - emphasis on the pokey.

No, they're boob-iful.

Penny

Morgan: It would be wrong to get married with someone when I'm sleeping with someone else. I may be a lot of things, but I don't cheat...except with my soulmate, obviously.
Penny: Awww, he's got boundaries.

(to Joanna) I'm buying you a muzzle.

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