Penny: Next time I get pulled over for a speeding ticket, here come the waterworks.
Sheldon [running to bathroom]: Here come the waterworks!
Leonard: Aren't you gonna ask?
Penny: What is this, my first day?

• Permalink: What is this, my first day?
• Rating: Unrated

Bark once if you need me to call PETA.

• Permalink: Bark once if you need me to call PETA.
• Rating: Unrated

Penny: So, we're about to shoot this scene in the movie where the killer ape DNA is slowly taking over my body.
Leonard: Okay.
Penny: But I realize they're gluing fur everywhere, except my cleavage. So, I asked
the director why and he says, it's important to the story that my boobs be the last things to turn ape.
Leonard: It's sweet that he thinks there's a story.

• Permalink: It's sweet that he thinks there's a story.
• Rating: Unrated

Sheldon: I don't understand my food. Chinese noodles with Korean barbecue ... in a taco.
Penny: It's fusion.
Sheldon: Well, my mother would lock her car doors if she had to drive through this hodgepodge of ethnicity.

• Permalink: Well, my mother would lock her car doors if she had to drive through this hodgepodge of...
• Rating: Unrated

I have to go to the gas station across the street. I mean, I was dressed like half an ape and still not even close to the most disgusting person in there.

• Permalink: I have to go to the gas station across the street. I mean, I was dressed like half an ape and...
• Rating: Unrated

Sheldon: So, we're just randomly choosing a restaurant without researching it online?
Penny: Yep.
Sheldon: Great. You know, this is how Anything Can Happen Thursday turns into It Won't Stop Coming Up Friday.

• Permalink: Great. You know, this is how Anything Can Happen Thursday turns into It Won't Stop Coming Up...
• Rating: Unrated

Penny: Hey, I don't understand why you're not upset with Amy.
Sheldon: I am. So much so that I'm gonna bring her here for dinner on our next date night.

• Permalink: I am. So much so that I'm gonna bring her here for dinner on our next date night.
• Rating: Unrated

Leonard: All right. I officially reinstate Anything Can Happen Thursday.
Penny: Great! What do, what do you want to do?
Sheldon: I don't know. What do you want to do?
Penny: I don't know. What do you want to do?
Leonard: I'm starting to remember the problem with Anything Can Happen Thursdays.

• Permalink: I'm starting to remember the problem with Anything Can Happen Thursdays.
• Rating: Unrated

Penny: I'm sorry, is the fact that my life's falling apart interfering with your board game?
Sheldon: It is.

• Permalink: It is.
• Rating: Unrated

Leonard: I'm not a crybaby.
Penny: Toy Story 3?
Leonard: They were holding hands in a furnace!

• Permalink: They were holding hands in a furnace!
• Rating: Unrated

Leonard: I love you, but I will not marry you.
Penny: Thank you.
Leonard: Now about that second proposal, on the one hand...

• Permalink: Now about that second proposal, on the one hand...
• Rating: Unrated

Penny: Leonard, will you marry me?
Leonard: Hmm.

• Permalink: Hmm.
• Rating: Unrated