Windy: (after meeting Sam in the hallway who is looking up at the ceiling) What's up there?
Sam: Well, for starters, um, no naked women.

Sam: (after Windy tells him that the lasagna has marijuana in it) You know I'm a cop?
Windy: Then you must get the really good stuff.

(to his Mom when he goes to talk to her after she leaves the precinct) Aside from the fact that you took money from a thug and your husband's never home, how are you?

(sarcastically) Right, that must be why I'm here.

Do you know what this is, Annie? It's the end of the yellow brick road.

Annie: No broken bones, no bruises. Do you feel like you're gonna vomit?
Sam: I am a little nauseous, to tell you the truth. But you would be, too, if you took the last flight in from 2008.

Life on Mars Quotes

If I'd wanted to be this bored, I'd go to Mass with the missus and her miserable mother.

Gene

I have an ass that can fart every Peter, Paul & Mary song ever recorded.

Ray Carling