The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSSheldon Cooper Quotes
Oh, oh, oh, I have a reason. It could be because you said yes to marrying Zack, but every time Leonard's proposed he's gotten a resounding no. Yeah, that's just off the top of my head.
Amy: No traffic. We're sailing.
Sheldon: Yep. Like we're on a ship. Coming from Africa to America.
Amy: Sheldon, that's completely inappropriate. You can't keep comparing yourself to a slave.
Sheldon: Yes, Miss Amy.
Penny: We had one of those silly fake weddings.
Leonard: Penny ... you know those are real, right?
Penny: No, they're not.
Leonard: Yeah, they are.
Penny: No, they're not.
Leonard: Yeah, they are.
Sheldon: He's right.
Amy: They're real.
Penny: But, it didn't seem real.
Sheldon: Now, I know how the African slaves felt. Being dragged from their homes to labor under the yoke of the white man.
Amy: Are you honestly comparing Thanksgiving dinner at the Wolowitz's mom's with one of the greatest tragedies in the history of mankind?
Sheldon: Yes.
Leonard: It'd actually be nice to not hear Sheldon complain about my cooking all day.
Sheldon: Yo ... uh, excuse me, but every year you prepare a terrible meal and every year I criticize it. Do our traditions mean nothing to you?
Do you have any idea what it's like to wait for years and never know if you're going to finally get satisfaction?
Sheldon: It's great you're here. I'd love to get an engineer's opinion.
Howard: Sure.
Sheldon: This chair is squeaky. Now, do I fix it or get a new one?
Gentlemen, please. Leonard is trying to walk a mile in my metaphorical shoes. He can't walk in my actual shoes. He has the feet of a toddler.
How those nipples feeling, chief?
How about this? I promise I won't pester you about the DVD. You can defecate in peace. That's a win for both of us. Until this matter is resolved, I would like you to wear this sweater ... with nothing underneath it.
Leonard: I'm gonna show you what's in the box, but just ... promise not to flip out.
Sheldon: Why would I flip out? Is it a spider? It's a spider.
Penny: No, if it was a spider, Lenny would've flipped out.
I've been informed that he's now Bill Nye the Restraining Order Guy.
