Penny: [knock, knock, knock] Sheldon! [knock, knock, knock] Sheldon! [knock, knock, knock] Sheldon!
Sheldon: I bet that started off as a joke, but by the third one, you realized there was something strangely enjoyable about it.
Penny: Yeah, I kind of want to do it again.
Sheldon: I don't recommend it, you'll be doing it the rest of your life.

Sheldon: [singing] The itsy bitsy spider is not an insect at all. Because it has eight legs and two body parts.
Leonard: That’s pretty cool, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Thank you. Do either of you know Beyonce? I’d love her to get behind it.

Amy: Is this how the rest of the night's gonna be?
Sheldon: I don't know the future.

Sheldon: I'll give you three guesses why I'm so irritated.
Howard: Something happened different from the way you wanted it.
Sheldon: I guess news travels fast.

Sheldon: Is that the attitude to helped you get Penny?
Leonard: No, but I don't have three years to make that gate feel sorry for me.

Sheldon: Play that funky music, white boy!
Leonard: I'm surprised you know that reference.
Sheldon: What reference?

Sheldon: Would you like to play a physics car game I invented called "I Can't Spy"? It's all the nail biting tension of "I Spy," but the added fun of sub-atomic particles and waves outside the visible spectrum.
Leonard: If it's half as much fun as "One Times Ten to the Fourth Bottles of Beer on the Wall," I'm in.

Oh, please. I have ideas all day long. Reverse Sea World, where dolphins are allowed to pet people. A new clothing size in between medium and large, called "marge." Snow White retold from the point of view of Sneezy. Why won't Doc prescribe him something? We finally find out.

While my brother was getting an STD, I was getting a PhD.

Penny: See, this is why I've been saying we should keep champagne on ice.
Sheldon: Sarcasm?
Amy: Yes.
Sheldon: That was tricky because when it comes to alcohol she generally means business.

Amy: After a careful evaluation of our relationship. We decided that the time was right to take a step forward.
Leonard: Okay.
Sheldon: Do you want to say it?
Amy: Let's say it together!
Sheldon and Amy: We're getting a turtle!

Sheldon: If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Penny: Well, not to steal from the Bible, but turning water into wine sounds pretty good.

TBBT Quotes

Mrs. Cooper: Shelly! I'm so glad you're here!
Sheldon: I saw you having naked sex.

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.