Shirley Quotes
Season 4, Episode 12: "Heroic Origins"
Shirley: I thought pushing that woman's head through a jukebox would make me feel better, but I'm just out $54...and a marriage.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 4, Episode 11: "Basic Human Anatomy"
Annie: Shirley, I'm speaking for both you and me.
Shirley: Then you might want to teach your mouth to say "we," "our," and "us."
• Rating: Unrated
Shirley: Is this a bad time?
Dean Pelton (speaking as Jeff): I'm at Greendale, stuck in the body of a man who could be Gollum, so yeah, I'd say it's half past suck.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 4, Episode 9: "Intro to Felt Surrogacy"
Shirley: What happened is between us and Jesus. And Jesus don't snitch.
• Rating: Unrated
Shirley: See? Prayer works.
Britta: So does gravity, Shirley.
Shirley: And you know who invented gravity, right?
• Rating: Unrated
Season 4, Episode 6: "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking"
Shirley: I believe that the good Lord made Chang, Chang. Kevin is a choice.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 4, Episode 5: "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"
Pierce: Let's carve that jive turkey.
Shirley: Got that out of your system?
• Rating: Unrated
Season 3, Episode 20: "Digital Estate Planning"
Shirley: Why did this thing take photos if it was going to completely fabricate body shapes?
• Rating: Unrated
Shirley: Now what are you doing?
Annie: He was suffering!
Shirley: Yeah from axe wounds!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 3, Episode 22: "Introduction to Finality"
Shirley: You were like a white Blair Underwood.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 77