Your hair looks like a briar patch. I keep expecting racist, animated Disney characters to pop up and start singing about living on the bayou.

I will no longer be carrying around photo ID. Know why? People should know who I am.

When I heard Sandy wanted to write himself into a scene as Queen Cleopatra, I was aroused. And then furious.

You wear more vests than the cast of Blossom.

Figgins: I cannot have these shenanigans at this school.
Sue: He cannot have these shenanigans at this school!

I'm about to projectile express myself all over your Hush Puppies.

What if I were to innocently murder you, Will? I'd still have to go to trial. I'd still probably get off for justifiable homicide.

I like minorities so much, I'm thinking of moving to California to become one.

That was the most offensive thing I've seen in 20 years of teaching — and that includes an elementary school production of Hair.

I always thought the desire to procreate showed deep personal weakness.

You don't deserve the power of Madonna... simply put, you have all the sexuality of all those pandas down at the zoo, who refuse to mate.

I realize you're only half orangutan, but I'm still allergic to your lustrous, ginger mane.

Glee Quotes

You know, a great big fat person once stood on this stage and told a group of a dozen or so nerds in hideous disco outfits that glee, by its very definition, is about opening yourself up to joy. Now it's no secret that for a long time I thought that was a load of hooey. As far as I could see the glee club was nothing but a place where a bunch of cowardly losers go to sing their troubles away and delude themselves into thinking that they live in a world that cares one iota about their hopes and dreams, totally divorced from the harsh reality that in the real world there's not much more to hope for than disappointment, heartbreak, and failure. And you know what. I was exactly right. Thats exactly what glee club is. But I was wrong about the cowardly part. What I finally realized, now that I'm well into my late thirties, it takes a lot of bravery to look around you and see the world not as it is but as it should be. A world where the quarterback becomes best friends with the gay kid, and the girl with the big nose ends up on Broadway. Finding the courage to open up your heart and sing about it. That's what glee club is. And for the longest time I thought that was silly, and now I think it's just about the bravest thing that anyone could do.

Sue

[to Finn] You know, I don't really know what's going to happen between us, but I know that you used to be the guy that would make me feel like the most special girl in the whole world, and it doesn't feel that way anymore. Now it just feels sad and confusing. And the worst part is that it doesn't even feel that bad anymore.

Rachel