Your hair looks like a briar patch. I keep expecting racist, animated Disney characters to pop up and start singing about living on the bayou.

I will no longer be carrying around photo ID. Know why? People should know who I am.

When I heard Sandy wanted to write himself into a scene as Queen Cleopatra, I was aroused. And then furious.

You wear more vests than the cast of Blossom.

Figgins: I cannot have these shenanigans at this school.
Sue: He cannot have these shenanigans at this school!

I'm about to projectile express myself all over your Hush Puppies.

That was the most offensive thing I've seen in 20 years of teaching — and that includes an elementary school production of Hair.

What if I were to innocently murder you, Will? I'd still have to go to trial. I'd still probably get off for justifiable homicide.

I always thought the desire to procreate showed deep personal weakness.

I like minorities so much, I'm thinking of moving to California to become one.

You don't deserve the power of Madonna... simply put, you have all the sexuality of all those pandas down at the zoo, who refuse to mate.

Sue: Iron tablet? It keeps your strength up when you menstruate.
Will: I don't menstruate.
Sue: Neither do I.

Glee Quotes

[to Finn] You know, I don't really know what's going to happen between us, but I know that you used to be the guy that would make me feel like the most special girl in the whole world, and it doesn't feel that way anymore. Now it just feels sad and confusing. And the worst part is that it doesn't even feel that bad anymore.


I'm engorged with venom, and triumph.