Oh, I've a list of men that could fill every opening you have.

Tobias: You didn't tell me you had a drug problem.
DeBrie: We met at a methadone clinic.
Tobias: Are you high? We met at an acting class.

Tobias: Here's to our acting addiction!
DeBrie: Yep.
Tobias: May we never be cured!
DeBrie: You should never give up a dream if you can write scripts!

I'm sorry, Mother. It's just, I've got a bit of a stick up my bunghole about what I've now found is a running joke about me. But let's be honest. For 2,000 rupees we'd both go down on Matthew McConaughey.

Tobias: Well, you look like I feel.
Gob: Gay?

Tobias: Everyone thinks I'm gay?
Lindsay: I mean, it's kind of a running joke...in the family.

Is there a little girl here all by herself?

Lindsay: I really love you, Tobias.
Tobias: Oh Lindsay. We have got to get you to that acting clinic.
Lindsay: And that was with me picturing fudge.

Tobias: I believe we're thinking the same thing. Let's give it another shot...
Lindsay: Yeah. We should end it.
Tobias: ...to the head. Kill it. Yes.

Tobias: Although, perhaps I should call the 'hot cops' and tell them to come up with something more nautically themed ... 'HOT sailors' ... or 'hot sea-ma'.
Michael: I like 'hot sailors'.
Tobias: Me, too ...

Michael: Where is Gob?
George Sr.: Oh, who knows? I don't even know where he lives.
Buster: He doesn't live at Michael's?
Tobias: I've always pictured him in a lighthouse.

Tobias: Well, I am off to buy the perfect present. Maybe she'd like a suit like this.
Narrator: That is her suit.
Tobias: Eh, they probably don't make it in a women's, though.
Narrator: They only make it in a women's.

Arrested Development Quotes

Gob: Take off your glasses. Oh ... Wait, wait. Let down your hair. No, glasses on, hair back up. Let's just get that hair right back up.
Kitty: Let me turn the lights off.
Gob: Yes, yes, please.
Kitty: How's that? Is that better?
Gob: It just seems like there's still light coming in from under the door.

Lucille: I'll have the Ike and Tina tuna.
Waitress: Plate or platter?
Lucille: I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it.