Oh, I've a list of men that could fill every opening you have.

Tobias: You didn't tell me you had a drug problem.
DeBrie: We met at a methadone clinic.
Tobias: Are you high? We met at an acting class.

Tobias: Here's to our acting addiction!
DeBrie: Yep.
Tobias: May we never be cured!
DeBrie: You should never give up a dream if you can write scripts!

I'm sorry, Mother. It's just, I've got a bit of a stick up my bunghole about what I've now found is a running joke about me. But let's be honest. For 2,000 rupees we'd both go down on Matthew McConaughey.

Tobias: Well, you look like I feel.
Gob: Gay?

Tobias: Everyone thinks I'm gay?
Lindsay: I mean, it's kind of a running joke...in the family.

Is there a little girl here all by herself?

Lindsay: I really love you, Tobias.
Tobias: Oh Lindsay. We have got to get you to that acting clinic.
Lindsay: And that was with me picturing fudge.

Tobias: I believe we're thinking the same thing. Let's give it another shot...
Lindsay: Yeah. We should end it.
Tobias: ...to the head. Kill it. Yes.

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