Greg's Fake Mom: Do you have any evidence?
Leslie: Yes. Two words. Peach pit. His DNA is all over it I assume.
Dave: We don't know that.
Leslie: We can get it tested....
Dave: We can't.
Leslie: And if it matches your DNA than you're going away for a long time.

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Parks and Recreation Season 2 Episode 7 Quotes

I passed up a gay Halloween party to be here. Do you know how much fun gay Halloween parties are? Last year I saw three Jonas brothers make out with three Robert Pattisons. It was amazing.


Halloween is my favorite holiday. It's just the best. And I don't have to work! Hey slutty teenage girls dressed as sexy kittens... pump your own stomachs this year!