Howard. You do not have a PhD. Your cologne is an assault on the senses, and you're not available for video games during the Jewish high holidays

Sheldon [on weighing which friends to keep]

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Sheldon Cooper Quotes, The Big Bang Theory Season 2 Episode 13 Quotes, TBBT Quotes
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The Big Bang Theory Season 2 Episode 13 Quotes

A fear of heights is illogical. A fear of falling, on the other hand, is prudent and evolutionary

Sheldon

Sheldon [looking at the women's book in a bookstore]: "Coping with the Death of a Loved One." My condolences
Woman: Thank you
Sheldon: Family or friend?
Woman: Family
Sheldon: Too bad. If it had been a friend, I'm available to fill the void