I had no real idea, of course, but I thought being buggered would be less painful and be over quicker, most likely. And he said I'd be set free the same day, so, so I considered it. But I could still feel my father's kiss on my cheek and thought what he would think of me, not the buggery, he'd not give that a thought nor cared, but for giving in, for letting that man break me. So I couldn't do it.

Jamie