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Leah: I'm proud of you for going to therapy. (kisses Ray who doesn't kiss back)
Ray: I'm sorry, I can't tonight. That guy eviscerated me. My penis is totally recessed.
Leah: What?!
Ray: When I was a little kid, I used to like to push my penis in to make it look like it disappeared. Today, it happened all by itself.


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Bored to Death Season 1 Episode 3 Quotes

Jonathan: Why was [Priscilla] your best wife?
George: Everything with her is as intimate as kissing. I never really got over it. Most orgasmic woman I've ever been with.

I love martinis. They heal all wounds.

George