Quotes
You know her? That's your dad's girlfriend, right? She sprayed me with the hose once. I liked her.
Meg
Todd, I know things haven't been great between us. We broke up because we're different. You're warm and caring and you see the world through rose-colored glasses. And me, I'm... I know I can be cold and negative and my glasses are basically crap-covered. But that's what made me fall in love with you.
Melissa
Mary: Nora? What are you doing here? Where's Matt?
Nora: Oh my God. Hi.
Mary: Hi.
Erika: Where have you been?
Michael: At your dad's.
Erika: I thought I told you not to go over there anymore.
Michael: I won't.
Carol: Shut the front door, there's more to this chair?
Erica: This chair is from Oprah's studio audience!
Carol: No way, shut all the doors in the house, Erica!
Come here, you little Vixen. The reindeer, not the whore.
Carol
Yuletide greetings, braheem, Santa's here early this year and he's got two huge lumps and a big ol' Christmas sack.
Phil
What you're looking at is the decoration version of Bruce Banner. But someone just made him very angry and over the next few days he's about to become THE CHRISTMAS HULK!!
Carol
Let me die a hero. That's the man I want you to remember. Please.
Killian
Allison: Am I under arrest?
Dar: It's somewhat of an open question at the moment.
Jonas: And the short-list of replacements for Carrie.
Otto: Maybe they will have less baggage.
Laura: Look, it was jailhouse chatter. Nothing.
Jonas: Of an attack on Berlin? I can't just sit on that.