I can kill bugs and open jars for you, and you can make me look less gay at work functions.

Wesley

My cousin in Atlanta is a business model. She holds up staplers in catalogs.

Kenneth

We brought good things to life. And bad things to Chinese rivers.

Jack [about GE]

All these books, sir! It's like I'm back at school, learning about the dangers of book-readin.

Kenneth

I had this thing where I kept running into Michael Douglas, then I realized it was just some old lady who lives in my building.

Jenna

Boston is the greatest city in the world. Boston Tea Party, Boston Cream Pie, Boston Rob Mariano.

Jack

I don't know why you're wearing girls' pajamas, but I'm sure it's cultural.

Jack

I'll see you in May! For sweeps! That what's we call spring cleaning in England!

Wesley

What if women had a pay-per-view channel featuring handsome men patiently listening to them? What if they had porn for women?

Jack
Displaying quotes 1 - 9 of 16 in total