Sometimes the right thing and the hard thing are the same thing. I read that on a tea bag.


Nothing like being in church having spent the night doing a bunch of bad crap, am I right?


Tracy: Well I'm sorry Sean, and child actor whose name I can't remember. You haven't walked in my shoes! All my life I've tried to forget the things I've seen: I slept on an old dog bed stuffed with wigs! I watched a prostitute stab a clown! Our basketball hoop was a ribcage! A guy in dreds electrocuted my fish! a crackhead breast-feeding a rat! A homeless man cooking a Hot Pocket on a third rail of the G train! The G train, Nermal!

I don't want to go back to England. I can't suffer through the London Olympics — we're not prepared, Liz. Did you see the Beijing Opening Ceremonies? We don't have control over our people like that!


So I'll go to Floyd's wedding alone. Maybe I'll just lean into it and bring a cat and a baby stroller.


This is a public park named after Ron Artest.


I remember being born, of course, and I remember learning to ride a bike. But that was last year.


Tracy: [on his new movie] Garfield 3: Feline Groovy. It's a pun. Because cats' paws have grooves. They're paying me one million teacher salaries.

Hey Dummy, yeah as soon as my beeper went off I knew it was you. I've got a personalized vibration for each chick I used to put it to


I've prepared a very unromantic evening. First we're going to see a documentary about female circumcision, and then we're going to eat too much Indian food.


Kenneth: And it's real Oscar bait sir. You say things like 'You don't know my pain!' 'You watch your mouth, Tyrese!,' and in a less dramatic scene: 'I'll have hash browns.'

I'll have you know Liz that I'm in line for a hand transplant. There's this strangler who's about to be executed, and uh, I got my hooks crossed!


30 Rock Season 4 Episode 21 Quotes

I'm coming alone, Cerie, but I would still like two meals.


Sexual time travel. Just like my Cinemax softcore 'Emanuelle Goes To Dinosaur Land.