Jonathan I have asked you not to call me at home after 11...or before.


Jack: You have all the makings of a reality superstar; hair, bully-ness, delusions of grandeur, an extremely short fuse, catch phrases...
Angie: It's my way 'til pay day.

I'm sorry I'm four hours late but my alarm clock didn't go off because it died in a cock fight last night.


Kenneth: Mr. Hornberger, do you and your wife ever fight?
Pete: Not all the time. After her hysterectomy, she was in a coma, briefly.

Jack: This isn't my first rodeo Lemon.
Liz: Well I've been to a rodeo to. It was a cat rodeo, in a gay guy's apartment.

You have to talk to Jack. I can't lose my dental. There's a hygienist their whose boob sometimes touches my ear.


Dr. Spaceman: Any who, I have the results of your physical. Tracy, you are going to die.
Tracy: What? No!
Dr. Spaceman: You have no reflexes, your blood tastes like root beer, and some of your bones seem to have vanished.

Dr. Spaceman: Tracy, you are going to die...
Tracy: What? No!
Dr. Spaceman: ...when I tell you who I'm dating.

Jack: Who wears shoes at a beach?
Liz: Only Rocky and Apollo Creed during the training montage.

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