[on Christmas gifts for Jenna] I want to take that Internet photo of her nipple slip and make it into a jigsaw puzzle!

Liz

They had their hearts set on the ESPN Zone. They've been talking about the Hideki Matsui Caliente Fajitas all week.

Nancy

An angry God is punishing them. It's a Christmas miracle!

Kenneth

Weird in a good way. Like going to the gym drunk.

Jack

Oh, shark farts!

Liz

Oh, oh Ken ... we may have fallen into the intellectual deep end here. And if you try to grab on to me, we'll both drown.

Tracy

[to Kenneth] That's the whole thing, K-Fed. Why don't the Catholics not eat meat on Fridays? Because the Pope owns Long John Silvers!

Tracy

[to Jack] I thought you'd have some hotshot wife with black hair who said queeah stuff like "dressing on the side."

Nancy

I'm sorry, are you being sarcastic? It's hard for me to tell. I'm Canadian and we don't have a big Jewish population.

Danny

[to Danny] Why didn't you tell me? I had Tracy playing Josh Groban last week!

Pete

Whoa! New dude sings as good as Tracy Jordan does everything!

Tracy

The whole thing was so confusing I ended up getting my own crappy gift back. Like I need two copies of Over 60 Vixens.

Frank

30 Rock Season 4 Episode 8 Quotes

The whole thing was so confusing I ended up getting my own crappy gift back. Like I need two copies of Over 60 Vixens.

Frank

Those sites are for horny married chicks with kids who want to exchange pervy e-mails with their old high school boyfriends.

Liz